


Maybe This Time

by royal_enchanter



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji - Minor, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And Atsumu making fun of him, Atsumu Goes To Russia, Atsumu in Russia, Bokuto Koutarou - Minor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Heart-to-Heart, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I love Yaku, M/M, Miya Osamu having a crush, Miya Twins being Best Bros, Post-Break Up, Yaku being the best senpai, Yaku is so done with his shit, giveyakuabreak2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28310796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royal_enchanter/pseuds/royal_enchanter
Summary: It took Atsumu less than a year before he realised that breaking up with Kiyoomi was probably his biggest regret in life.It took him two years before he did anything about it.-----Where 5,952 kilometres and a boatload of introspection leads to Atsumu figuring out that just because he and Kiyoomi broke up, that doesn’t mean that it’s the end for them.Maybe it's not too late.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Yaku Morisuke, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 130
Collections: HQ Filo Week Fic Collection





	1. ACT I: Two Old Sweethearts

_In German fairy tales, they don’t say Happily Ever After. These fairy tales often ended with “...und wenn sie nicht gestorben sind, dann leben sie noch heute”, and when translated it means, “...and if they haven’t died, they are still alive today.” It’s an interesting concept in that this ending gives us so much ambiguity. It says that these characters are human and that they are not perpetually living in a constant state of happiness that fairy tales seem to like to leave us. It lets us fill in the gaps and allows us to think of the ups and downs of a relationship and what it means to be together -- the fights and the struggles that every relationship goes through. Even the choice to continue loving each other through whatever life throws and staying together. And since we’re all just living our lives to the best of our abilities, sometimes love just isn’t enough to save a relationship or to continue one. Sometimes distance becomes the end… or does it?_

* * *

It’s a special kind of hell being in the in-between space. Atsumu has been here for too long. Too many hours spent trying to figure out if he should go or if he should stay. The question of whether or not it’s worth it runs through his thoughts. 

It’s hard to fight for something when everything else is fighting back. Maybe giving up now is better than hurting each other. Maybe they could be better in the future. Maybe now was just not a good time for them. 

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. 

Too many maybes are in Atsumu’s head right now. He still questions it though, especially now that they’re here three feet apart and just looking at each other. There weren't many smiles between them now. Less joking _Miyas_ and teasing _Omi-omis_. Just eyes meeting each other. Looking. Questioning. 

They were walking through Hiraoka Park after lunch, the cherry blossoms were dancing in the breeze when Atsumu reached the point where he couldn’t take it anymore and asked the question that had been bothering him for a while.

“Can we even do it?” Atsumu asked Kiyoomi. 

“Can we do what?” 

“This,” Atusmu pointed to Kiyoomi then to himself. “Us, being together when we’re in different places?”

“What are you trying to say here Atsu,” Kiyoomi said, his voice a bit muffled by the mask he was wearing. It was obvious he wasn’t on the same page but it looked like he had an inkling of what Atsumu was trying to say. 

“I like you Omi. I really do. I’ve never really felt this way before. But I’m no psychic Omi. I can’t read your mind. I don’t know what goes through your head when you do things. Sometimes I wonder whether you’re even interested in me in the same way.” 

It hurt Atsumu to say those things to Kiyoomi but it needed to be said. Maybe Osamu was right. Maybe it was time for them to part ways. 

“I don’t want to be the one who ruins what we have, Omi,” Atsumu’s voice sounded faint to his ears. “I don’t want to be the person that hurts you. We were friends first. We should just end this here before we ruin what we have.”

Atsumu looked down to his feet and he could already feel the tears coming at the corner of his eyes. They’ve been different ever since he got that offer to play for Cheegle Ekaterinburg in Russia, now that his contract with MSBY was up for renewal. It was a great chance to play for a strong foreign team with a highly decorated coach and he knew it was an opportunity that he couldn’t miss out on. Once he told Kiyoomi about it and how he was thinking about accepting the offer, suddenly it was as if they were back to when they were just starting to figure out where being teammates ended and where being together started. As if the last six months went down the drain. The silence was filled with words unsaid and questions unasked. 

When he asked whether he should say yes, Kiyoomi told Atsumu to take the opportunity presented to him since he had been wanting it for so long. Atsumu was glad for the support that Kiyoomi gave him but at the same time, there was a small part in him that kind of wished that Kiyoomi told him to stay. He brushed off that thought as soon as it came.

“Maybe we should break up now,” Kiyoomi said in an abrupt tone. “I told you that you should take this opportunity Atsu. If you think that ending this is better then maybe it is. You know yourself better than anyone else.”

Hearing those words hurt more than he thought they would. Atsumu had been the one to bring up the question of whether they can do it but hearing Kiyoomi say the words that have been haunting him was different. He couldn’t think straight but he had considered this option.

“Yes,” Atsumu spoke softly as if scared that if said it any louder it would hurt more than it already did. He looked up to Kiyoomi, meeting his eyes again. “Let’s end this here.”

“Well... so this is where we say goodbye I guess.” 

The fact that Kiyoomi didn’t even say anything else was like a dagger to his heart. Maybe this was what was meant to happen ever since he got that offer to play abroad. Maybe it was better that they don’t attempt a long-distance relationship. Maybe it was better that it hurt now than let this relationship they have wither. He didn’t even notice that he was crying until Kiyoomi had wiped the tears away with his hand.

“I look forward to seeing you grow, Atsu,” were the words Kiyoomi said as he dropped his hand back to his side. “I hope you have a good time in Russia. Do your best.”

Atsumu took a shaky breath. Half of him wanted Kiyoomi to hold his face again but the other half wanted to move as far away as possible. He ignored the former.

“My contract with Cheegle Ekaterinburg would be up for renewal in two years. Maybe we can see each other when I come back.”

“Maybe,” Kiyoomi repeated. “But for now Atsumu, this is goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Kiyoomi.”

With those parting words, Atsumu pivoted and left. It took everything in him to not look back. It was painful, yes, but at the same time, it was like a plaster he finally removed. His heart stung and it ached but at the same time, it was as if he could now continue moving forward. He had voiced his thoughts and there was no turning back.

But if he had looked back he would have seen Kiyoomi, with his face raised to the sky and eyes closed. The wind passed by Kiyoomi, the fallen cherry blossoms caught in its hold. The scene painted was one of surrender. It was as if Kiyoomi was asking for salvation from the heavens. Perhaps that was what it was but in the end, no divine intervention came to answer him.

* * *

Walking back to his apartment was a different kind of feeling for Atsumu. It was as if he didn’t know how to get to the apartment and was just newly moved. Has it really been that long since he’s gone home without Kiyoomi dropping him off? How long has it been since he took the train back alone? Days? Weeks? Months?

He didn’t know but it was scary to think about how much Kiyoomi had integrated himself into Atsumu’s life.

As Atsumu entered the apartment, the first thing that he saw was the hand sanitiser bottle that Kiyoomi had placed on the shoe rack. It wasn’t anything special but it was the thing that made him just collapse into himself.

He fell to his knees there in his entryway and felt the tears come. 

“So this is what it feels like,” Atsumu whispered to himself. His vision had clouded over from the tears and he could feel his knees smarting from the hardwood floors he was kneeling on. 

It was his choice to go through with letting go but it _hurts._ It hurts so much that it took Atsumu by surprise. He didn’t know that he could feel this much pain. It hurt worse than his brother telling him that he wasn’t going to be playing volleyball anymore after high school. Worse than when he confessed to his senpai and was told that he couldn’t return his feelings. Worse than everything everybody has said about him in his path to being the best.

It hurt more because he was the one that made the choice. He was the one that went and did it. He was the one that broke them because he was scared of what the future held if they stuck to each other while they were kilometres apart. Where they weren’t just one message away from each other; where one call wasn’t all that was needed to hear the other’s voice; where it wasn’t just one train ride to see each other’s faces. 

Atsumu knew that they could have tried, he wanted to try but maybe it wouldn’t have been worth it when Kiyoomi agreed to them breaking up. Maybe this was a sign that it really wasn’t the right time for them to be together. He was still selfish enough that right now, volleyball was the only thing that he could fully focus on. He was still hungry to be better and to play against monsters and come out on top. Trying to convince himself that it was a good decision. 

With that thought, he pulled himself together and stood up. He wiped his tears and took a deep breath. He steeled himself and went further in his apartment. 

Atsumu pulled out his phone and messaged Osamu.

_It’s over._

_I’ll be there in 20._

* * *

Atsumu had showered and changed into a hoodie and sweatpants and had plopped himself on his living room floor when he heard his door being unlocked. Since Osamu was the only other person who had a key beside his landlord, Atsumu wasn’t shocked to see his brother’s head of hair in his entryway. Osamu was holding a bento wrapped in cloth in his right hand while his left was on the wall to keep his balance as he removed his shoes.

“Hey.”

Atsumu didn’t reply to Osamu’s greeting but instead just stared at his brother.

Osamu went to the kitchen to put down the bentos on the table and went to the living room. He sat on the floor next to Atsumu unceremoniously. Atsumu’s head had fallen to Osamu’s shoulder and he stayed there and didn’t say a word. Atsumu stayed silent, stray teardrops falling down his cheeks. Osamu was willing to wait however long it took for his brother to talk to him, just basking in the stillness of the space that they were occupying.

“It’s really over,” Atsumu said softly, “Kiyoomi was actually the one to say that we should break up. He wanted me to go and wished me well while I’m in Russia.”

Osamu didn’t even know what to say to his twin. This was the first time that he had seen Atsumu be this torn up about a relationship. Osamu didn’t know what to do really, or even what to say so he simply kept quiet, moved Atsumu’s head to his lap and carded a hand through his brother’s hair as the other cried.

Time passed them by and Osamu knew that he didn’t want to see his brother cry even more than he already has. So he did what any self-respecting twin would do.

“Wow, I knew you were a crybaby but I didn’t know it could be this bad.”

“Hey!” Atsumu shouted indignantly. “I thought you were here to make me feel better! If that’s all you’re going to say you better be ready to make friends with my fist again.”

Osamu let out a laugh. Now, this was more like the asshole of a twin that he knew.

“Who said anything about making you feel better? I’m just here because I wanted to grab the hoodie you stole the last time you went to the shop.”

Atsumu had stopped crying at that point and Osamu knew he did the right thing in making fun of him. 

“Hey,” Osamu looked down at Atsumu before he continued, “you told me that you weren’t sure if you would have lasted if you stayed together when you left for Russia. This is probably the right move you know? It hurts right now because although your brain has understood that it’s the better option, doesn’t mean that your heart is willing to accept it right now.”

It was a while before Atsumu said anything. Osamu was starting to get worried that maybe he’d start crying again when he heard faint laughter from his twin.

“When did my brother start getting so smart huh?” Atsumu teased.

Osamu let out a relieved breath. “Well, someone had to be and you sure as hell aren’t going be it.” Atsumu let out a disgruntled sound at that but didn’t bother arguing with his twin.

”Now, c’mon and get up,” Osamu pushed Atsumu off of him and placed his hands on his knees to bring himself up to stand. He went straight to Atsumu’s room and to the closet. “I’m sure as hell that you haven’t done any packing yet and I’m not about to trust you to remember all the important things.”

Atsumu stood up and followed his brother to his room where he found Osamu bringing out his luggage. He stood there at the doorway watching Osamu struggle with the suitcase that got stuck at the back of the closet.

“Are you seriously just going to stand there and make me do all the work?” Osamu asks him rhetorically.

“Yeah, yeah don’t get your panties in a bunch I’m coming, I’m coming.” Atsumu went into the room and headed for the drawers that were next to his bed.

He started taking out most of the clothes in there and left only a few pairs of underwear and socks, a few undershirts, and some towels that would tide him over until he had to leave. He placed the clothes that he had taken on his bed to be packed later and figured that it was as good a time as any to sort them. From the stories that Yaku had told the national team, it was clear as day how cold it would be in Russia. Atsumu figured he’d probably bring his underclothes, training gear, and some winter clothes to tide him over until he gets to buy his clothes once he settles in.

“So,” Osamu was still trying to pull out the suitcase, “the club’s going to be giving you an apartment?”

“Yeah, it’s near the grounds too so it’s convenient,” Atsumu replies as he sorted out his clothes. 

“No shit, it’s convenient. You can’t even speak Russian and you barely speak English so they probably wanted to make sure you don’t die,” Osamu jokes as he finally pulls out the suitcase. “What the fuck is with this thing; why was it so hard to get out,” he looks at the bag and notices that there was a scarf wrapped around two of the wheels that were probably pinned down by some of the boxes in the closet. “Seriously, Tsumu if you had done this later you would’ve been a mess. How long has it even been since you cleaned in here?”

Atsumu ignored the question. “Ogienko-san said that it was in the same complex where they gave Yaku his apartment when he joined the team,” he paused what he was doing and looked at Osamu. “They probably figured that they should just place me near him so I have someone that could understand me.”

It was a startling reminder to Atsumu that Yekaterinburg would be the farthest away from home and from his twin than he’s ever been in his entire life. He continued his task and when he finished he sat down on his bed.

“It’s a long way from Japan, that's for sure. There’s also that four hour time difference.” Atsumu mused. “The fact that the sun’s gone for longer than it should be in the winter and is up for more hours than in Amagasaki during the summer will be the weirdest thing, I think.”

“Wow. I didn’t know you could even think.” Osama replied. “I thought there was only ever volleyball in your empty head.”

“Four hours.” Atsumu went quiet again. He started to pick at his fingers while thinking out loud. “By the time I get up, the team would’ve been in practice for at least an hour already.”

When Atsumu didn’t rise to the bait, Osamu knew that his brother was starting to spiral. It comes rarely but there were times Atsumu was like this––introspective and quiet. It’s happened only a handful of times and is such a complete opposite to his brother’s normal disposition that Osamu never knows how to react. There’s never any indication of Atsumu starting to spiral, one minute it’s business as usual and then, suddenly, Atsumu would go quiet.

Atsumu speaks up again before Osamu could say anything. “I think I’m going to miss home and knowing that there’s always someone I can count on to have my back here. Despite everything I put you through Samu, I’m thankful that you’re here.”

“What’s all this about Tsumu?” Osamu asks as he sits down next to his twin. “It’s not like you’re going away forever. You’re not dying are you?” Osamu asked jokingly. 

He quickly went serious when Atsumu didn’t say anything. “It’s just two years and you can always call and message. It’s not the end of the world, y’know? I mean, at some point we’d inevitably live farther apart. We can’t live in each others’ pockets forever.”

“I know that.” Atsumu looked up and stared at his ceiling. “It’s just different. You’re not 20 minutes away from me anymore. I know that you’re never really going to leave. We’re brothers, nothing’s ever going to change that. You’ll still be the first person I’ll tell about stuff.”

“You’ll still be my best friend Samu.” Atsumu looked at Osamu from the corner of his eyes. “And I’ll still kick your ass from 5,952 kilometres away.”

Osamu laughed at that. He laid down on the bed and he felt Atsumu do the same. “You know you can’t do the same stupid shit there like the ones you pull here Tsumu. I won’t be there to bail you out of the messes you get into. Yaku-san’s one of your teammates and he’s no pushover so he’ll keep you in line.”  
  
“Just tell me you’re going to miss me you jerk,” Atsumu said playfully.

“Me?” Osamu scoffs. “Miss you? You wish. With you gone my life would be quieter and there wouldn’t be anyone one mooching off me for food.”

“You piece of shit,” Atsumu sat up and lunged at his brother. “I do not mooch off you for food! You’re the one that needs a taste-tester!”

Osamu laughed at his brother’s words but he didn’t deny it either.

The twins were silent once more. Where two people who’ve known each other for so long, there no words were needed. The twins vowed that they were going to stay the same, no matter what happens. 

It was Atsumu that broke the quiet contemplation they were both in.

“Maybe I could have made it work y’know. The long-distance thing with Omi-kun.”

Ah, Osamu thought. He had to tread carefully here. “Are you trying to say that you have regrets? I know we talked about you guys’ relationship before and I said that it probably wasn’t the right time and I still stand by that. I said that before you even told me about that offer from Cheegle. You’re at a turning point in your career where you guys will probably go in different directions, play on different teams, move to different places. Maybe you could try again in the future. Nothing’s set in stone Tsumu.”

“How profound,” Atsumu spoke with no inflexion. “Please tell me more Miya-sensei.”

Osamu hit his chest. “Shut up you jackass.”

Atsumu laughed and thought about it. 

“I don’t regret breaking up with him,” Atsumu concluded. “I still think that joining Cheegle is a good thing for me. I guess what hurts more is the fact that he didn’t argue against it. Now I’m not sure that I wanted him to agree. Maybe I wanted to hear him ask for me to stay with him.”

“He’s probably thought about it just like you did,” Osamu offered. “Sakusa’s a meticulous person, he probably already weighed everything and he came to the same conclusion that you did. That you might not survive the distance. A fledgeling relationship and nearly six thousand kilometres between you?”

“Ugh.” Atsumu grabbed a pillow and placed it on his head. “Why did it have to be like this.”

“That’s love I guess.” 

“Is it?” Atsumu stood up and went to his closet. “What is love anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever felt the kind of love you’re thinking of.”

Osamu looked to where his brother was supposed to be. He had a look of fondness on his face that he would deny ever showing to his brother. “Love is about thinking of more than just yourself. It’s choosing to do the hard thing even though it hurts because you know you have to compromise. It’s choosing each other again and again.”

“Can you consider what we had as love?” Atsumu said while picking his clothes from their hangers. “We didn’t choose each other in the end. There wasn’t any compromise. We were together and then we weren’t. Maybe we could’ve been in the future. Maybe this is what they mean when being in a relationship changes you in small ways. Maybe we weren’t in love yet but we were probably on our way there.”

“Hm.” Osamu stood up as well. “Well. If it wasn’t love then it was probably you trying to save yourself from pain.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s scary,” Osamu walked towards the corner of the room where Atsumu had placed the boxes for his things that he was going to place in storage. “Two years is a long time and it’s scary to think that one day you’ll blink and the person you’re talking to has changed so much and you weren’t there while it happened.”

Osamu carried over one of the boxes to the other side of the room and started to pack up the clothes Atsumu left in his drawers. “You guys haven’t been together for a long time and you guys were still at the stage where you’re getting to know each other from a different place than you did. You used to just be teammates and then you were boyfriends. It was just the wrong timing altogether.”

“Right person, wrong time huh?” Atsumu went to his bed and placed the clothes he took from the closet.

Osamu laughed. “Your life is such a cliche Tsumu.”

Atsumu joined his brother and draped an arm on his shoulders. He ruffled Osamu’s hair and Osamu squawked with displeasure.

“Oi! Stop that you dumb Tsumu!”

Atsumu laughed. “My brother, the wise guy, was saying all these kinds of things and you expect me to not make fun of you? Where’d all that come from Samu?”

“Unlike you,” Osamu sniffed, “my brain is filled with more than just volleyball.”

“Oh really,” Atsumu teased, “what is it filled with then? Volleyball and onigiris? Or maybe you’re just spouting off words from a certain editor we know.”

Osamu turned away but Atsumu could see his ears were red. “I knew it! Keiji-kun was the one who said those things!” Atsumu let out a laugh.

“You are the worst. The absolute worst.” Osamu shrugged off his brother’s arm and went out of the room. “Why did I even come here? I regret everything.” 

“C’mon,” Atsumu followed Osamu. “Samu.”

Osamu stood in the middle of the living room, ears still red. 

“I still have pudding cups in my fridge that you can eat,” Atsumu cajoled. “There’s also some leftover fried rice from when Kita-san came to visit yesterday.”

“Fine.” Atsumu struggled to not crow at his brother. Food will always be Osamu’s weak point.

“But one more word outta you about Akaashi-san and I’m leaving.”

Atsumu stood by as Osamu went straight towards the fridge to get the aforementioned pudding cups. Atsumu soon followed and stood near the sink.

“So how is your Keiji-kun doing?”

“Shut up!”

* * *

It took Atsumu a better part of a week to finish packing all his stuff. His clothes were in his suitcases, his belongings in boxes that were segregated into two piles, one to be sent on ahead and the other to be sent to Osamu’s apartment for storage.

He stood in the middle of his living room, looking at everything he owned packed into neat piles. It gave Atsumu a sense of how little material possessions he actually owned. His apartment didn’t even look different from before he packed up everything. He’s lived here for years and it was as if he didn’t even leave a single fingerprint. 

_Who needs memories._

It hits him quite suddenly that he’s leaving the place he’s called home for the past couple of years for a new place where he doesn’t speak the language. Where the food is unfamiliar. Where the streets lead to places he doesn’t know. Where he has new people to meet and get to know. 

Atsumu had been trying to learn Russian ever since he had accepted the offer but he still had trouble getting his tongue to form around the foreign words. He was going to exchange familiarity and comfort for awkwardness and instability but, the only way to get better is to face challenges head-on. 

Hinata. Ushijima. Kageyama.

They all took the chance to challenge themselves and he has to catch up. He won’t lose.

With that thought, Atsumu took one last look at his living room and went to bed. A few more days until he had to leave and he still has other things he needed to do, but for now, sleep.


	2. ACT II: How Were They to Know?

_ Love is constant. An unchanging light that shines without wavering. _

* * *

During dinner the day before Atsumu had to leave, Osamu insisted that he had to be the one to drive Atsumu to the airport on the day he had to leave for Yekaterinburg. 

“You know Ma and Pa are coming down to send me off already and I know you have to be at the shop considering your new hires are still figuring out how to do the work.”

“No Tsumu. You’re leaving the country and I want to see you off. Ma told me that they were going to come down to see you off too so I told them to just meet us at the airport. This is the first time that I’m going to get some peace for longer than a week, I have to be there.”

Atsumu was about to rag at his twin when he noticed that Osamu wouldn’t meet his eyes. He didn’t say anything against it anymore after that and just told Osamu to wake up early.

The following day, Atsumu woke up to a morning that was louder than expected. He had already moved out of his apartment and had been staying at his twin’s for the last two days. Atsumu was no stranger to loud mornings but the volume on that particular morning was confusing. So he got up from the futon and walked outside.

Considering who he saw in there, he was astounded the noise wasn’t louder than it was.

Osamu was in the kitchen as expected but Bokuto and Akaashi sitting on the sofa was surprising. He wasn’t expecting the two to come over considering they already said their goodbyes when they had dinner with the team a couple of days before. Sakusa wasn’t there of course but Atsumu considered that. He wasn’t sure if he would’ve been ready to see the other man so soon anyways.

“Tsum-tsum! Good morning!” Bokuto’s loud voice was something that Atsumu had gotten used to after many years but it’s been some time since he had to hear it so early.

“Bokuto-san, it is eight in the morning, we wouldn’t want any noise complaints from Miya-san’s neighbours,” Akaashi said as he stood up to go help Osamu in the kitchen.

“Sorry, Myaa-sam!” Bokuto whisper-shouted.

“What are you guys doing here?” Atsumu went to rub the sleep from his eyes. “I thought we already said our goodbyes.”

“Bokuto-san said that he wanted to say goodbye again and that he forgot to give you something,” was the answer given by Akaashi as he came back to the living room carrying a tray with bowls of rice.

“Yeah! I got you this,” Bokuto said as he waved around a paper bag. “It’s a vabo-chan print neck pillow!”

“Bokuto-san the food.”   
  
“Sorry, Kaashi.”

“Anyways,” Akaashi looked at Atsumu. “Bokuto-san called me up and told me so I figured I’d come with considering he forgot where Miya-san lives.”

“You didn’t have to tell them that Akaashi!” Atsumu looked on as Bokuto’s hair seemed to droop along with the pout he had on. Atsumu had to smile at the display; he was going to miss his Ace. Atsumu also didn’t bother pointing out that Akaashi could have just sent over a Google Maps pin and not have gone out of his way to come over when he noticed that Akaashi’s ears were a little red.

Atsumu smirked. 

“What are you standing around there for dumbass,” Osamu came in with a plate of fish and another with some eggs. “Go get the tea and be useful for once. And Akaashi-san, stop with the Miya-san. There’s two of us here, might as well just call us by our first names.”

The red of Akaashi’s ears got more vibrant. “Of course, Osamu-san.”

Osamu smiled, “close enough I guess.”

Atsumu turned his back just to hide his laugh. Let it be known that Osamu has no game and is the more oblivious of the two seeing as he still couldn’t tell that Akaashi liked him back. Osamu still hasn’t confessed because he didn’t want to get rejected despite all the evidence to the contrary. Seeing Osamu pining made Atsumu’s heart go a little funny. It wasn’t resentment, but more like, he was happy for his brother but he was also jealous that he could probably keep the boy he liked by his side.

_ What’s done is done,  _ Atsumu thought to himself.  _ Maybe Samu will get on with the program at some point. _

After breakfast, Bokuto and Akaashi had said their goodbyes with Bokuto leaving Atsumu one more of his trademarked hugs. He thanked them for coming over and Bokuto for the gift. He went back to the bedroom so that he could get ready to leave. Once he came out, Osamu was cleaning up the kitchen and the plates they used for breakfast. Atsumu took his place next to Osamu and grabbed the dishtowel to help with the cleanup.

The silence was comfortable and was only broken when Osamu spoke quietly.

“I’m going to miss you.” Osamu looked at him from the corner of his eyes. “Don’t say anything but take care of yourself out there.”

Atsumu blinked. 

“I will.” 

Silence reigned once more.

Once they had finished cleaning up, Osamu went and grabbed his keys from his nightstand and met Atsumu at the entryway of the apartment. They lugged down the Atsumu’s suitcases and put them away in the trunk of Osamu’s car. 

It wasn’t a long drive to Kansai airport so they made it in good time. Once they parked, Atsumu had checked in his luggage. Their parents had said to meet them at one of the cafes in the airport so that’s what they did afterwards.

Once they met up, Atsumu had to endure the hugs and kisses from his Ma and his Pa telling him to behave himself. It kind of made Atsumu feel like a little kid off to his first errand. Osamu smirking on one side wasn’t helping any matters and Atsumu glared at him from the top of their mother’s head. Osamu’s only response was a wider smirk.

Atsumu didn’t begrudge his mother her fussing considering this was the first time that he would be leaving the country for a long time and not being just a drive away from her. He just lived with it and consoled himself that it would end at some point. His mother has to let go of him eventually seeing as he had a flight to catch.

She released him from the hug but left her hands on his shoulders and just looked up at him. “I’m going to miss you and you have to call us! You have to keep me updated on your life! Also, don’t laze around and meet some new friends. Don’t just shut yourself in and only play volleyball. How are you going to find someone to bring home? Your father and I aren’t getting any younger you know!”

“Yes, ma.” Atsumu ignored the last question as his brother snickered at his side. He gave his mother one last hug and said goodbye to his parents.

“You do realise she’s going to focus on you now right?” Atsumu said quietly to his twin. Watching Osamu come to that realisation made bearing with their mother’s fussiness somewhat worthwhile. 

Atsumu laughed at Osamu’s face as the latter paled.

* * *

It was little past 2 PM when Atsumu’s plane finally touched down. After nearly twenty-one hours of travel, a couple of connecting flights, and countless peanuts, Atsumu was finally in Koltsovo. It took everything in him to not just fall asleep right where he was standing. He was wiped and had wanted to crawl into bed and not emerge until he absolutely needed to.

Ogienko-san had said that someone would be picking him up to bring him to his apartment but she hadn’t said who it was. All her message said was that there would be someone at the arrivals gate that would be holding a name sign.

After surviving immigration with the minuscule amount of Russian he practised and probably with the officer taking pity on him, he reached the baggage claim area and managed to snag his suitcases with minimal fuss. It was a bit of a walk to the gate and Atsumu was in no hurry considering his flight managed to be early through some divine intervention most likely.

It was generous to say that the arrivals gate was confusing. It was downright chaotic with the number of people there both those who just arrived from the planes and those that were waiting for people. Every ounce of patience that Atsumu had was tested, which wasn’t a lot at that point.

“Miya! Miya! Over here, Miya!” A voice shouted to his right, in a language that Atsumu could finally understand. He looked over and to his surprise saw Yaku holding a garish sign in pink––and was that glitter––with his name written in bold white kanji. Atsumu wasn’t sure if he was hallucinating from fatigue or if Yaku was really there with that nightmare of a sign. He figured he had nothing to lose and took a chance and went closer.

“You took your sweet time coming closer,” were the first words Yaku said to him with a matching punch to the shoulder. Atsumu would’ve made a joke about how Yaku could only reach his shoulder to punch but the last time he said anything about the shorter man’s height was still fresh in his memories. He could swear that the pain from his ass was still there from when the man kicked him before.

“Yaku-san.” Atsumu greeted the man. “I had to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating this monstrosity you call a sign.” Being closer did not make a hint of difference to the question of whether Atsumu was hallucinating or not, but it was a comfort to be talking to someone he knew.

“I made it especially for you Miya,” was the cheeky answer he got. 

“Thanks.”

“Let’s go,” Yaku said as he started walking, “I took my car here and since we’re staying in the same apartment building I figured I’d volunteer to pick you up instead of someone from management ‘cuz I know when I’m tired I can barely understand Japanese let alone English or Russian.”

“The apartment complex is about 20 minutes away from the arena and is close to the city centre,” Yaku continued while Atsumu struggled to catch up. “There’s a cafe nearby so we can have a late lunch first. I’d suggest you try to stay up just so you won’t get too much of a jet lag but practice doesn’t start until Tuesday next week and it’s only Monday so you have a week to fix up your body clock. There’s a gym about 10 minutes away if you walk and less if you bike so if you want I can help you set that up later.”

They reached the parking area and Yaku went straight to a silver car parked towards the back. They managed to fit Atsumu’s two suitcases and his carry-on bag in the trunk of the car and then went inside.

“I was supposed to give you the welcome to the team spiel but I figured food first because airline food’s inedible on a good day and downright disgusting on a bad one,” Yaku took a left turn at the first junction. “I don’t eat out much but this cafe’s the only one that has strawberry shortcakes like ones back home.” He glanced at Atsumu. “Sometimes food can bring comfort, yeah?”

They got to the cafe after a couple of minutes and parked nearby. It was a tiny cafe, nearly dwarfed by the places next to it. When they entered a tiny bell jingled to announce their presence. Atsumu took a minute to admire the inside. Despite the tiny facade, the cafe was surprisingly spacious, with light painted walls, and furniture in muted colours. It was kind of nondescript if Atsumu was being honest. He wondered how nice this strawberry shortcake was that Yaku would come back to this place. He kept this to himself though and followed Yaku to the cashier. 

“Their food here is good too, I’d recommend getting something not too heavy just so you can still eat when you join the team for dinner later,” with that Atsumu took the time to look at the menu. It didn’t have any English but it had pictures so he just pointed to a dish that kind of looked promising. Yaku didn’t say anything against it and ordered it so Atsumu figured that it was a safe bet. Atsumu had taken a seat at a table near the counter and Yaku followed after he finished ordering.

“Oh, I have your keys here and,” Yaku rummaged inside his jacket pockets, producing a set of keys. He handed them over to Atsumu without fanfare. “Later, you can change the door code once we get to the apartment complex.”

“Thanks.” Atsumu took the keys and placed them inside the jacket he was wearing.

“So-” Yaku started to talk but he was interrupted by their food coming. After the waitress finished putting the food on the table, Yaku continued with a bit of a sardonic lilt. “Welcome to Yekaterinburg, it’s been home for a couple of years and there isn’t a lot of tourist stuff here. Unless you’re into the Romanovs, I guess or if you like hiking.” 

“Why would I-” Atsumu began before he stopped himself. He wasn’t a big fan of tourist things anyway so he didn’t even want to know why being into the Romanovs was a point of importance. “It’s fine, I’d rather just spend time getting my game on point.”

“That’s right.” Yaku grinned at him. The grin was a little too menacing in Atsumu’s opinion but he held that comment to himself. “Challenge yourself, yeah? Fight the strong guys here after fighting those back home and then when the national team comes calling you’ve gotten more experience fighting against guys taller and stronger than you.”

“Yeah,” Atsumu was surprised at how well Yaku figured him out but at the same time, he  _ wasn’t _ surprised. Considering this was the guy that went straight to the foreign leagues he probably knew what he was talking about. “There’s always someone stronger and I want to be better than them and then find someone else to beat.”

Yaku threw his head back, laughing. “That’s the spirit! Keep that up and you’ll fit in in no time.”

Yaku took a sip of his drink before he started talking again. “How’s everyone back home? Last I heard you were dating Sakusa, which is something surprising but I applaud you for even having the balls to get him to go out with you.”

_ There we go _ , Atsumu thought to himself. “I guess word hasn’t reached everybody yet.”

“What news? Did you guys break up already?” Yaku asked him a little playfully.

“Yeah, actually. We broke up before I came here,” was Atsumu’s monotone reply.

“Oh.” Yaku scratched the back of his head. “Well... this is awkward. I wasn’t expecting to be right. I thought you guys might still be together because, from the stories Hinata and Bokuto told me, you’re the only person Sakusa ever lets come close to him. Komori doesn’t count.” Yaku said as Atsumu tried to refute the statement. “Even Usihiwaka doesn’t count considering they’re the same brand of weird. Those two would definitely stick to each other.”

Atsumu started to play with the napkin on the table. He wasn’t sure what to tell Yaku or if he should bother to tell him anything. He could probably make up something to get out of replying but Yaku started to talk again.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Miya.” Atsumu started to think that maybe Yaku was a mind reader or something. He was always one step ahead of everyone on the court so maybe that also translated to off the court. “I don’t want to pry really, but I’m open to listening. We have to stick together yeah? Plus, your brother messaged me a few days ago asking me to look after you. Said something about ‘keeping Tsumu in line he never does what he’s told’.”

“Fucking Samu I am a grown-ass man,” Atsumu glowered as he reached for his phone, he was going give Osamu a piece of his mind, nevermind the fact that it was the dinner rush at Onigiri Miya and it was unlikely that Osamu would even see his messages. Atsumu typed angrily at his phone while Yaku laughed at his antics. He sent it before getting back to the conversation.

“I have got to say it was a little weird but well, I have missed watching out for a kouhai.”

“That’s sweet Yaku-san.”

“Don’t get too complacent though,” Yaku smirked quite menacingly at him, “the last time I had a kohai I had him running ragged on and off the court.”

“No room for scrubs here.” Atsumu grinned wolfishly at Yaku which the man returned without reservation and at that moment, Atsumu knew that they understood each other. There’s no point in coming over to Russia and leaving his life in Japan if he doesn’t get to sink his teeth into some new meat. He has to get better. He just has to.

* * *

Atsumu took to living in Yekaterinburg like a duck took to water.

His first week meant unpacking and exploring the area around his apartment and figuring out where to go. Yaku had already told him where the grocery was but he also wanted to see if there were places he could eat and try new food. It wasn’t just Osamu who had a fascination with tasting new things. 

There was a restaurant that was run by an old Russian couple on the corner of the street he lived in and when he first entered the place he was fascinated by how good the food smelled. Atsumu was startled though by the rapid-fire Russian that he was faced with and could only stare at the lady at the counter. They managed to understand each other with a little help from Google Translate and with the fact that the lady was able to speak a little English. The food was filling and he liked the beetroot soup for some reason. The atmosphere reminded him of the place he used to frequent back in Osaka that served the best dumplings he'd had. The old lady who ran it would give him a couple of dumplings for free because he “was a cute button”.

Atsumu had gone back a few more times after that first visit.

On the first day of practice with the team, he was barely able to communicate with his new teammates and got by with mostly gestures, a little English, and a lot of translation help by Yaku. It didn’t take long for Atsumu to adjust to his teammates though. He wasn’t part of Japan’s national team and one of the top setters in the V.League Division 1 for nothing after all.

Atsumu had developed a routine a couple of weeks after settling in. Every Sunday was meal prep day. Mondays were cleaning days. Tuesdays, grocery shopping. Wednesdays, he’d visit the corner shop and get dinner. Thursdays were for calling his family. Fridays were for exploring Yekaterinburg. Saturdays were laundry days. Of course, practice was every Monday to Saturday, so that occupied the majority of his time. His teammates would occasionally invite him out on Saturday nights for a little R&R after a week of practice. They would all go to dinner and maybe even have a drink or two if practice was especially troublesome that day.

He had been able to reach the point where he could comfortably say that he was friends with his teammates and that it wasn’t only Yaku that he would talk to. Some of them had already picked up some Japanese from Yaku that it was fun to talk to them. One of his teammates, Alex, had even taken it upon himself to introduce Atsumu to the wonders of Russian food.

A few practice games in and he was definitely in sync with his team and the past couple of in-season games that they’ve won is testament to that. His hybrid serve has been taken up a few notches in terms of how difficult to receive he could make it. Yaku had even said that it was “one of the most disgusting serves ever, keep doing it I want to pick it up!”

Spring and summer passed by so quickly that the next thing he knew it was October already and the volleyball season was in full swing. He didn’t have time to breathe, let alone think about anything else other than volleyball. Atsumu’s schedule was so physically strenuous that breaking wasn’t so much an “if” at this point but a when. It was all just a waiting game at this point. 

So, when he woke up one Sunday morning, on the first day of the break that their coach had mandated, he had no desire to get out of bed and do anything. He knew that this was it. There was no escaping this. 

He shifts in bed and spies the clock on his bedside table. It showed 6:45 in big, neon green that meant he woke up before his alarm, which was set to wake him up at 7 in the morning on Sundays. Atsumu had a feeling though that this wasn’t the reason he felt off that morning.

Once he spied the date on the corner of his alarm clock though, he figured it out quickly.

October 7.

He and Kiyoomi would have celebrated their anniversary today.

Atsumu starfished on his bed, threw an arm over his eyes, and groaned. He did not want to get up from the comforts of his bed. Even the grey skies that he spied outside his window seemed to agree with his mood. He’s been having too good a time that it was surreal how everything only hits him now. It was inevitable that he’d reach this point but Atsumu had pushed the thought away and focused only on what was going on in front of him.

He reached for his phone to call his brother. Atsumu had already pressed the call on Osamu’s contact when he remembered Osamu telling him last Thursday that he would be out of town for a business fair and would probably have trouble answering calls. The thought of calling despite that crossed his mind but he was not about to worry Osamu when he was thousands of kilometres away and wouldn’t be able to do anything anyways. He cancelled the call, dropped his phone into his bed and just laid there.

* * *

Atsumu worked through the motions that week. Practice had started back up by that Tuesday and it served as a good distraction from the memories of an anniversary that never happened. That doesn’t mean though that it completely left his mind. It was still there, at the corner of his thoughts. Lingering. Taunting him.

Atsumu had thought that he was still playing the same and that none of the inner turmoil showed on his face or in his sets but he forgot that he was playing with someone who was able to read him. The next Sunday, Atsumu was rudely awakened when loud knocking came from his front door. He was about to ignore it seeing as it was too early to bother with a person that probably got the wrong door number or something. Once he heard shouting alongside the knocking though, he threw off his covers and got up from his bed.

“MIYA ATSUMU I HAVE BEEN STANDING HERE FOR TEN MINUTES. OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR I SWEAR TO–” Atsumu yanked his door open before the speaker could finish their sentence. Yaku had an annoyed expression on his face as he stood outside Atsumu’s apartment. He didn’t quite know how to respond to seeing Yaku at his door at 6 AM though and just stood there with his mouth a little open, staring. 

A few seconds passed before Yaku clicked his tongue. He hip checked Atsumu and then barged right into Atsumu’s apartment. Atsumu then slowly closed the door and looked to where Yaku was removing his shoes.

“Come in, I guess.”

Yaku stood up properly and walked to the middle of Atsumu’s living room with his hands on his hips and a deeply unimpressed look on his face. Atsumu knew deep in his bones that that face did not bode well for him. Atsumu was about to ask Yaku what he was doing at his place at this early with the sun not even up yet but the shorter man beat him to the punch.

“You’ve been shitty this week and I don’t appreciate you bringing your crap into the game.”

Atsumu blinked.

“Good morning to you too?”

Yaku let out a deep sigh. He dragged a hand over his face and looked at Atsumu from head to toe. “Get dressed. I already packed us some food. We’re going on a trip and you’re going to tell me everything you asshole.”

Atsumu was someone that couldn’t be forced into things that he did not want to do but Yaku kind of reminded him of a weird mixture of Kita and his twin brother. Saying no was not an option. So he just nodded his head and offered Yaku a cup of tea while he went and changed into some more appropriate clothes.

He grabbed a backpack from his closet and stuffed in everything he would need and once he emerged from his bedroom, he headed straight to the kitchen to grab some food. 

“Where are we going then Yaku-san?” Atsumu asked as he opened his fridge. He took out some yoghurt and wondered whether he could get away with reheating some leftovers before Yaku dragged him out of the apartment by the ear.

“Olenyi Ruchyi. We’re going to get your shit sorted out if it’s the last thing you do.”

“Don’t you mean the last thing we do?” 

Yaku grinned ferally. “I said what I said.”

Atsumu felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. He probably won’t get to eat those leftovers he was thinking about too.

“Just so we’re clear here. You’re not going to kill me and hide my body in the woods right? I mean you still need your setter, the season hasn’t ended yet.” Yaku started walking out of the apartment. “Right, Yaku-san? Right?”

“Get your stuff and let’s go already, you're wasting daylight,” was Yaku’s only response.

“What daylight. The sun isn’t going to come up for a few more hours. Am I wasting anything even?” Atsumu muttered to himself as he followed Yaku out of his apartment, grabbing his coat on the way. “Why'd you even come at,” Atsumu looked down at his watch, “6:45 in the morning? Couldn’t we have done this at a somewhat more reasonable time?”

Yaku laughed at the question. “Of course we could’ve done this later, but starting with the sun at its peak? No thanks. Plus, if we go any later plenty of tourists would be there and I’d rather not deal with too many people today or any day really.”

Yaku had parked near the apartment building last night. Once they were inside the car, Yaku had turned it on and immediately set the heater up. It wasn’t winter yet but the winds were nipping at their heels and there wasn’t any sun to combat it a little.

According to what Yaku told Atsumu during the drive to Olenyi Ruchyi, the car ride was a short one if considered by Russian standards. It was 130 kilometres away from Yekaterinburg which, according to the GPS, meant that the drive would take at least an hour and forty minutes barring any incidents. 

It was already nearing 9 o’clock when they reached the parking lot of the park. There were a few other cars in the lot but there weren’t a lot of people during this time of the year anyways since the park was just opening up for the day. They got out of the car and Yaku told Atsumu to go pay for their entrance fees and that he’d get their things together. Atsumu didn’t bother refuting and just followed what he was told.

Once Atsumu finished paying and had returned to the car, Yaku had their backpacks and a large cooler bag was set out next to Yaku’s feet. Atsumu had an inkling that he would be the one carrying that cooler for the trail that they were going to walk. So when Yaku shoved the cooler’s straps at him, he just took it and kept mum. He wasn’t about to say anything to the guy who could make his life hell on the court.

There were a lot of things to see in Olenyi Ruchyi according to the brochure that Atsumu had managed to grab at the entrance. The park could be roughly translated to Deer Springs and was one of the most beautiful parks that the area boasted. It has a landscape that was diverse in flora and fauna with the Ural Mountains in the spotlight. The place was a mix of forest and taiga along the Serga River and also featured plenty of caves and rock monuments.

Atsumu was baffled at how beautiful the place was. Yaku had mentioned that it was the perfect time to visit the park because it’s the “Golden Autumn” period and Atsumu guessed this was why it had that moniker.

The leaves on the trees were a beautiful mix of yellows, reds, and greens. The air was crisp without being too cold and once the sun rose, it had cast light against the trees giving them a warm glow. It was difficult to not be at peace at such a place, Atsumu had found. Being surrounded by nature’s wonder truly was something he had missed.

“Let’s go you slow-ass donkey, we’re not getting any younger while you stand there breathing!” Atsumu flinched minutely in response to Yaku’s shout. He shook himself slightly and saw that Yaku had already moved ahead. He swore and jogged to catch up.

“I grew up in Tokyo so I wasn’t always surrounded by trees or nature,” Yaku stated once Atsumu caught up to him. “But I’ve found that this place reminds me enough of the trips that my family used to take back home when I was a kid.”

Atsumu didn’t dare interrupt. This was the most he’s heard from Yaku that didn’t involve volleyball or teasing.

“I brought you here because I can tell when someone’s off their game and even though it wasn’t obvious, I’ve seen you play your A-game since high school and when you came here but last week was decidedly not your A-game. There were some plays that you would have normally done that you didn’t. Coach noticed too but he didn’t say anything.” Yaku moved to look at Atsumu. “Normally I wouldn’t care what you do or what is going on with your life but you shouldn’t bring it to the game.”

Atsumu felt like he was being looked down on even though he was almost twenty centimetres taller than the older man. He couldn’t even meet Yaku’s eyes because he knew what the other was saying was true. He had been off his game. It wasn’t like he was playing horribly but losing 1 or 2 points was still something.

“I just had a lot on my mind this past week.”

Yaku clicked his tongue and scowled. “Coach told me to take you out and get this sorted out because he thought it was homesickness. The fact that you can’t even look at me just tells me it isn’t that. So what is up with you?”

“I know we have a game soon but that’s different from practice. I’ve never fucking brought my baggage to actual games and I’m not starting now.” The path that they were walking on seemed like it would go on forever to Atsumu. He didn’t want to have this conversation but he knew there was no getting out of it if he didn’t want Coach to be the one to do something. He wasn’t going to risk getting benched.

“Then what is it, Miya?” Yaku repeated.

“Let it go Yaku-san.”

“I won’t,” Yaku insisted. “You think you’re not going to bring any baggage? Think again you dumbass. If you’re bringing it to practice games who’s to say that you would be able to leave it when you need to?”

“Fine. But I’ll talk later, Yaku-san.” Atsumu started walking ahead. “Let’s just do this first and later, I’ll talk.”

Yaku pursed his lips but let it go for the time being.

The trail that they were on was about 6 kilometres but it wasn’t all flat land so it was estimated that it would take them four hours to traverse it. They passed by a rock formation that looked as if the two rocks were kissing. They even passed by another formation that looked like a horse drinking from the river. But to Atsumu, one of the highlights of the trek was this little statute on top of a pile of rocks.

It was a little golden angel. It didn’t have any features nor did it have any decorations. It was as if it was moulded to what a child would think was an angel. It had wings protruding from its back and was as if it had simply taken perch on those rocks to look above the Serga river and the surrounding forest. The view from behind the angel was breathtaking to Atsumu.

“The Angel of One Hope,” Atsumu was a little startled when Yaku started to speak. “Supposedly there are others like it around the world and that they work to protect the world from fear, despair, and catastrophes.”

Atsumu could feel Yaku looking at him but he couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge the other man. So, they stood there in silence, looking at the land the angel next to them was guarding. 

“It was supposed to be our anniversary last Sunday.”

Yaku looked at Atsumu when the man started to speak and didn’t interrupt. 

“I was the one who suggested we break up, you know. I was the one that left. It shouldn’t even hurt this much, I mean we had been together for barely six months at that point.” Atsumu took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “I wasn’t sure if we would have been able to handle the long-distance because we were still trying to figure things out really, and that’s why I ended it. So, I don’t know why it’s haunting me.”

“I don’t pretend to know much about you or Sakusa or even about relationships but it sounds like something in you regrets what you did.” Yaku eyed Atsumu, who had a questioning look on his face. “Have you ever thought that maybe it’s because you still want to be with him?” 

Yaku waved his hands in front of him defensively when Atsumu faced him. “Hey, I did say I don’t know much but from what you’re saying, it seems like you want to be with him. Sounds easy enough to me.”

“It sounds easy but it probably isn’t Yaku-san.”

“You know, Coach maybe was on to something when he said that you were probably homesick.” Yaku had a thoughtful look on his face. “But maybe it wasn’t Japan that you were homesick for. Maybe it was a certain someone that you were missing?”

Atsumu didn’t reply to the question. He turned back to the river and thought about what Yaku had said to him. He wasn’t one for too introspective thoughts but maybe that was it. Maybe he did have regrets. 

Yaku laughed. “I can tell that you’re making things complicated in your head, Miya. You want to be with him or you don’t, there’s not much to it.”

“I guess you’re right Yaku-san but it’s not like I can do anything about it. It’s not like I can just hop on a plane back to Japan and tell him I want him back.” 

“Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the end for you guys.” Yaku pointed out. “There’s always a chance.”

The two of them lapsed into silence again. 

“D’you know, there’s a belief that if you rub the angel’s wings while making a wish it’ll come true as long as it’s not a materialistic wish?” Yaku nudged Atsumu lightly. “It’s tradition to do it when you’re here so why don’t you give it a try Miya.”

Atsumu was sceptical about the wish-granting powers of the angel but he figured he had nothing to lose and went closer. What did he wish for? To bring the team the championship? To be able to fit in and find some semblance of home in a foreign land? Atsumu closed his eyes and rubbed the angel’s wings.

_ I wish Omi was with me.  _

Atsumu opened his eyes suddenly and backed away slowly from the angel. That was the first time that he had the words to describe the feeling he had at the back of his mind. Maybe he didn’t mean it in the literal sense of Kiyoomi being next to him in Russia but in the figurative sense. Maybe he did miss Kiyoomi and wanted to be with him again. Maybe he had equated Kiyoomi as home before he even figured out what it was that he felt.

Atsumu had turned his back to the river and walked back to the trail while Yaku was speaking. “Let’s go back, Yaku-san. I feel like this is the best thing for me. Who knows, maybe once I go back he’d still be there. Right now though, I’m hungry and I want to go back home.”

Yaku didn’t say anything anymore and simply followed Atsumu.

* * *

It was as if Atsumu had blinked and a year and a half passed him by. Next thing he knew, it was already April and his contract was almost over. He was about to start packing up his apartment a month before the season ended because he knew his schedule was going to be hectic when Ogienko-san had called him to meet up with her. She wanted to talk to him about renewing his contract to play with the team for another three years. He had shown great chemistry with the current line up. It just remains to be seen whether he would be able to bring the team to the championships this year.

“We wanted to give you some time to think about it so we’re going to let you hold on to the apartment for now and when you give us your answer then you either come back and stay in the apartment and continue to play for us or we pack it up and send it to you if you decide to decline.” Ogienko-san looked at him seriously. “We’re not pressuring you to say yes, Atsumu. We know that it’s a longer commitment than you initially signed up for but Coach Karpol sees potential in you and I trust his instincts. It’s gotten him this far in this sport and has brought this team plenty of recognition.”

It wasn’t like Atsumu was blindsided by the offer. He already had some inkling that they were going to ask him to stay on longer but the fact that they were willing to give him so much time to think about the offer. The season wasn’t over yet with the semi-finals happening next week and the championship the week after that but Cheegle had a really good chance of winning the finals this year. 

They had been doing well this year having lost only three times in the first round of the tournament where they were able to play against every team in the league. They had also managed to win in the second round and advanced to the Play-offs. They were only able to reach the quarterfinals last season and this season, Atsumu wanted to bring the team to the very end and say that their team was the best in Russia.

“I can’t give you a definite answer right now, Ogienko-san,” Atsumu bowed his head lightly before he continued. “Thank you for your trust in me and I will think about this and get back to you as soon as I can.”

Ogienko-san laughed lightly. “I’d say take your time Atsumu but I would like it if you would be able to give me an answer before practice starts up again for the next season in July. That should be enough time for you to go think about it, yes?”

“Yes,” Atsumu replied as he nodded his head. “I’ll have an answer for you before that then.”

“I look forward to hearing from you then.” Ogienko-san stood and Atsumu followed suit. “Thank you for coming today Atsumu. It’s been a pleasure.”

“The pleasure’s all mine Ogienko-san.” Atsumu then took his leave and went back to his apartment. 

He had games to prepare for and an apartment to not pack up apparently.

They played in the semi-finals the next week and came out with the team clinching a win against the Zenit St. Petersburg to play against the reigning champions, Zenit Kazan. The reigning champion was a tough opponent and only after winning three out of five games, did they finally manage to win the championship. It was a struggle considering the other team had managed to win the first two matches but they had caught up with the next two. They grabbed the finals win from them after the gruelling five-set match with the last set resulting in 28-30 to Cheegle’s favour.

After winning the championship, there were team interviews and parties they had attended to celebrate their win but it was the one where they had gathered in Coach Karpol’s home that was particularly memorable to Atsumu. The team had gathered and Coach had thanked them for their hard work and that he hoped to see them as the champions again the next year. It had been a fun time, with plenty of food and company that Atsumu had managed to remove from his mind the fact that he wasn’t sure if he would still be playing with the team the next season.

It was two days before his flight and a week after the finals that Coach Karpol asked to meet him in his office to talk. Atsumu figured he already knew what they were going to talk about and wasn’t surprised. He played in plenty of official games, figured out some moves during practice matches, made sure to follow to the dot everything the team’s trainer wanted him to do, and he decidedly did not think about what was waiting for him back in Japan. Or more specifically, what was  _ not _ waiting for him.

Coach Karpol’s office had some kind of homey feel to it and Atsumu unconsciously lowered his shoulders and straightened his back. Coach was a strict man but he knew what he was one of the best at what he did and deserved every inch of respect that Atsumu could give. The coach was sitting down at his desk with framed photos hanging up on the wall behind him. He also had a cabinet filled with medals and trophies from his own time playing volleyball.

“I know that Valentina Vitalyevna has already extended to you the offer to continue to play for us for three more seasons,” Coach Karpol said as he leaned back with his hands steepled, resting them on his chest. “You’ve done good work with us here for the past couple of years Atsumu. You’ve helped bring the team the championship last season. You should consider the offer.”

“I appreciate that-” Atsumu began to say.

“-But I think that you still have a lot to learn.” Coach Karpol interrupted before Atsumu could finish his sentence. “I want to see you win some more games with the team. We only won this season by the skin of our teeth and I want to see if you can do better than that. Would you be able to bring the team to another championship?”

Atsumu had no answer to that question. He wasn’t satisfied yet. It was a good game, he admits, but he had wanted to win in straight sets. He wanted to prove to Coach that getting him to join the team wasn’t a waste of time and that he was a setter that could bring his team to the championships despite only joining the year before. But he didn’t know if he could take another three years away from home. There was something in him that was telling him that he needed to go back and that only then could he decide.

Coach took in Atsumu’s silence as an answer and stood up from his chair. “Think about it. You’re going back to Japan, right? Why don’t you take a break since I’ve been told that they’re holding your apartment here for you until you give your response? Go see your family and think about it.” 

He walked around the table and stood in front of Atsumu. He placed his hand on Atsumu’s shoulder, gripped tight and looked him in the eye. “You’ll go far in this sport Atsumu, I just know it. I can feel it in my gut and I want to be the one to help you get there.” 

Coach then let go of him and Atsumu took that as the signal to the end of their conversation. Atsumu bowed absentmindedly and thanked Coach Karpol for his time and turned to leave. His thoughts reverberated inside his head. 

He had a lot to think about but for now, it was time to go home.


	3. ACT III: It's The Same Old Feeling Back Again, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're near the endgame now.

_How are they to know_

_Someday they'd meet again_

_And have a need for more than reminiscin'_

* * *

Being immersed in the hustle and bustle of Haneda was nostalgic to Atsumu. Everyone was walking around with their suitcases and almost everyone was speaking Japanese. It sounded like home. It may not be the Kansai-ben that he grew up on, but it still had the distinct sound of home. Everywhere he went, he could finally understand what people were saying and it was a nice change of pace. 

Tokyo may not be the home he grew up in, but it currently was, to one of the people that Atsumu had been wanting to see. That is unless he’s asked and will therefore deny anything and everything.

It was already dark by the time Atsumu’s plane touched down in Haneda but the city was still bright with lights. As soon as Atsumu was out of the arrivals area, he immediately saw his twin standing off to the side. Sometimes, it honestly paid off to be tall in a place where everyone averaged at about 160cm. Osamu was wearing an Onigiri Miya cap on his head reminding Atsumu of why he was in Tokyo in the first place.

As he reached his brother, the first words he said were, “So did you move here for the Tokyo branch or did a certain someone influence that decision?”

Osamu blinked, incredulous. “For your information, I moved here because I was looking to expand my business and not because of Akaashi-san.”

“I never said it was Keiji-kun,” Atsumu teased in a singsong. “Suna and Aran are also in Tokyo in case you forgot that fact. Why so defensive Samu? Are you hiding something? Is it a new boyfriend? Are you dating someone now?”

“I shouldn’t have agreed to pick you up,” Osamu muttered as he turned and walked away. Atsumu laughed at Osamu who tried to hide his red face. “I knew you were just going to be a pain in the ass.” 

“C’mon Samu didn’t you miss me?” Atsumu shouted at Osamu. He jogged to catch up with his twin while laughing. 

“Walk faster you dumbass,” was Osamu’s only response.

Atsumu missed seeing his brother embarrassed in person.

“I figured you’d have more stuff with you, are you going to send them over later or something?” Osamu asked as soon as Atsumu caught up with him. He was eyeing the two suitcases that Atsumu was dragging behind him. “ Are those all you own? I’m pretty sure you couldn’t have fit everything you owned in those,” Osamu said as he peered over at Atsumu.

“They’re not. I didn’t pack up my apartment yet and Ogienko-san said that they’d keep it up for me while I’m here in Japan.”

Osamu’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I thought your contract ended already.”

Atsumu decidedly did not meet Osamu’s eyes as he answered. “They offered me a new contract.”

“You told me that after two years you’ll come back. MSBY did say that they’ll welcome you if you wanted.”

“That’s true, yeah.” Atsumu went quiet and stayed like that until they reached the parking area. Osamu had made quick work of leading them to the car and loading it up with Atsumu’s suitcases. Once they got in, they sat in silence.

“I didn’t say yes or anything,” Atsumu said while staring straight through the windshield. “But I still have a lot to learn from him. There’s not much that can compare to 51 years of coaching volleyball and I feel like those two years working with him weren’t enough. But I don’t know Samu. I feel like I just had to come back home first. It’s like there’s something here that holds me back from accepting. So I told them I’d think about it while I’m here.”

Osamu started the car and had already backed up before he replied to Atsumu.

“It’s Sakusa isn’t it,” Osamu stated. He had expected this since that first missed call in October almost two years ago. It wasn’t hard to figure out why his brother had tried to call him that day when he usually stuck to their Thursday calls.

“Osamu,” Atsumu called out warningly. “Don’t go there. Not today.”

“Two years Tsumu.” Osamu ignored Atsumu’s warning tone. They were already on their way out of the airport complex before Osamu continued. “It’s been two years since you ended a six-month relationship. Maybe it’s time to face the fact that you were in deeper than you thought you were.”

“I know what you’re trying to say here but I don’t want to open that can of worms yet.” Atsumu sighed. “I just want to sleep for a while and eat. Can’t we do that?”

“Sure and afterwards you can tell me all about why you didn’t bother to tell me that Cheegle offered you a contract extension.” Osamu’s voice rose and was almost at the verge of shouting by the end of his sentence.

“I wanted to tell you in person you dumbass.” Atsumu hit Osamu in the shoulder not so lightly. “I needed someone to tell me I’m right.”

Osamu scoffed. “Since when have I ever told you that you’re right? You’re never right and if you want me to tell you what you want to hear then you’re barking up the wrong tree.”

Atsumu let out an outraged sound. “Samu!”

“What?” Osamu asked, a smirk on his face. “No denial? Maybe you should’ve gone to Russia a long time ago if that meant your ego went down.”

“I missed you too you fucking jerk.”

It went silent again inside the car, but it was the good kind of silence. The one where silence meant that there were no words needed anymore, that they understood each other so well that there was no need to fill the void with meaningless chatter. They stayed in that comfortable quietness until they reached Osamu’s apartment. 

Atsumu was the first to get out of the car and once outside, he looked up. He wasn’t surprised that he couldn’t see the stars but he kind of wished that he could. He looked around and tried to familiarise himself with his twin’s new neighbourhood. Well, new to Atsumu at least.

“Oi, you idiot help me bring your stuff in I’m not your pack-mule!”

Atsumu laughed and hurried to help his brother in removing the suitcases from the back of the car and into the building entrance.

Once they reached the apartment door, Osamu had to dig around one of his pockets for his keys. 

“C’mon let’s go in. It’s late and I don’t want to stand outside any longer than I have to.”

Osamu entered first and motioned for Atsumu to follow. As Atsumu entered, he was reminded of how tiny everything was in Japan. Atsumu had recognised that Osamu’s place was already on the more spacious side of apartments in Tokyo but it was still jarring to be reminded of how used he had gotten to the sheer largeness of Yekaterinburg. He spies a rolled-up futon next to the bed and figured that that was where he would be staying for the next month. He saw Osamu head for the closet/room extension with Atsumu’s suitcases in tow.

“I’ll be honest with you Samu, I kinda missed the crampedness of Japan,” Atsumu said as he sat down on one of the kitchen stools. “It’s good to be home.”

“Hey,” Osamu called out to him. Atsumu faced Osamu and watched as the other’s lips quirked into a small smile. “It’s good to have you back.”

* * *

Tokyo was a test in sensations. It was filled with loud noises, bright lights, and plenty of people walking around at all times of the day. There were plenty of cars on the road and it was never truly quiet at night. The smell of food wafted from numerous places that Atsumu was hungry all time.

He found it charming.

He had wondered what it was like to live in Tokyo ever since he was a kid. He didn’t grow in the countryside or anything, Osaka was a short train ride away from home but it had a different vibe to Tokyo. Tokyo was louder and more vibrant. It was as if Tokyo was an entirely different species from the rest of Japan. Where it was truly an amalgamation of the east and the west.

Atsumu had been to Tokyo before but only for games and never for vacation. There were so many things to see and do that it was kind of overwhelming. His first day back he went to some of the normal tourist places: the Skytree, the Imperial Palace, and he even went to Ryogōku just for shits and giggles. 

There were a lot more people here in Tokyo than there ever was in Amagasaki. 

The Skytree was as awe-inspiring as they said it was. Being so high up, the skyscraper gave a beautiful view. Apparently, he came at the right time since the weather had favoured him and he could even see Mt Fuji from the observation deck. He even went and checked out some of the stores and took pictures of the food he ate to show Osamu later when he went back to the apartment. His brother wanted to come with him but taking too much time off of work was asking for trouble. He was already going to be unavailable next week when their parents would visit from Hyogo and he didn’t want to overwhelm his staff. 

After the Skytree he had gone to Ryogōku just because he was already in the area and he figured he might as well visit the place. Sumo wrestling was cool and there was a reason that it was Japan’s national sport. It just wasn’t as cool as volleyball in Atsumu’s opinion but it was fun watching an occasional match. There was even a sumo themed restaurant that had its own sumo ring. Atsumu made sure he took plenty of pictures of that place, and Osamu would get a kick out of seeing the place.

The Imperial Palace was his last stop for the day. It was as enormous a place as the textbooks described it. It was amazing standing there in a place that he had only read about in his school books and saw on the news. The palace itself wasn’t open to the public but the surrounding area was. There was even a bridge that looked like a pair of glasses that had Atsumu snickering into his hand. He had wanted to go to the gardens adjacent to the palace but the crowd of people gathering there made him rethink that decision. Maybe he could come back with his parents next week to see the gardens.

Next thing Atsumu knew, it was almost time for him to meet up with Osamu for dinner. His brother had wanted to eat at the ramen place near Onigiri Miya so Atsumu headed straight to the restaurant there from the palace grounds. Based on what Osamu said, the ramen was good but what Osamu wouldn’t stop raving about the gyoza that the place had. Apparently, the old owner of the place still made them from scratch every day.

Dinner that night with Osamu was filled with Atsumu talking about his day. There wasn’t a lot that Osamu had missed while Atsumu was in Russia since they always talked to each other on the phone, over video chat, through messages. It was as if being farther apart brought the twins closer than ever.

“I wanted to go to the gardens,” Atsumu said after taking a slurp of noodles. “But there were so many people so I figured that maybe we could go there with Ma and Pa next week. I think Ma would like all flowers.”

“She probably would,” Osamu agreed readily enough. “She’s been growing a bunch of plants in the backyard at home ever since she got that plant from our neighbour next door. Honestly, I’m amazed Pa’s been putting up with it considering he’s the one that had to do all the heavy lifting.”

Atsumu laughed at that last bit. “Pa’s always been whipped for Ma, of course, he’ll put up with it.”

“Here,” Osamu pushed the plate of gyoza that the cook just placed in front of him to Atsumu. “Try these. I swear that the old man adds something to these things, they’re addicting.” 

Atsumu went and grabbed one. The dumpling itself didn’t look any different from any gyoza he has eaten before, one side was soft and plump with the other crispy. Once he bit into it though, he finally understood what it was that Osamu was saying about it. It was amazing. 

“Holy shit Samu.” 

Osamu let out a hearty laugh at Atsumu’s reaction. “Right? It’s amazing.” Osamu grabbed one of the gyozas on the plate and popped it into his mouth. “I’ve been watching them make these babies for some time and let me tell you I still don’t know how he makes them so good.”

They quickly finished talking after that with Osamu asking for another serving of the gyoza. Atsumu had missed being able to have dinner with his brother. He spent most of his life with Osamu by his side, so not having him near was weird. Which is another fact that Atsumu would be taking to his grave.

“So,” Osamu began as he set down his chopsticks, bowl empty. “What are you planning on doing tomorrow?”

“Hm?” Atsumu quickly slurped down his noodles before he answered. “Nothing really? I was just going to go do some more tourist stuff, see some other sights, eat more food, the works.”

“Why don’t you go to Toyosu Fish Market?” Osamu suggested. “There’s also the Meiji Shrine near Harajuku…or you could go to Akihabara, I know you’ve been looking for some manga and you’ll probably find it there.”

Atsumu perked up at the suggestion of going to Akihabara. He had been meaning to go out and buy some books to read since he really couldn’t find any back in Russia and international shipping was a bitch and a half to figure out that he just bought kindle books but nothing compared to holding what he was reading.

“Maybe I would go to Akihabara…” Atsumu said as he thought out loud.

“It’s amazing how people think you’re cool when in truth you’re the biggest dork on this plant.”

Atsumu gave Osamu a deadpan expression, choosing not to even respond to the remark.

They left the ramen shop after that, bidding thanks to the chef and heading back to Osamu’s shop. It was a warm night and Atsumu found that he had missed walking around and seeing houses in familiar designs. The street they were walking on was a small alleyway reminiscent of those he would walk with Osamu back in Hyogo.

The two of them talked about nothing in particular as they walked and Atsumu didn’t notice that they had reached Onigiri Miya already. Osamu went to double-check on the shop and afterwards, they got into the car and headed back to the apartment. Once they reached Osamu’s place Atsumu went straight to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

The next morning, Atsumu woke up alone in the apartment with a note from Osamu saying that he already made rice and that he could help himself to the fish in the fridge. He looked at the time on his phone and saw that it was already 10:25. He’d blame the jet lag on how he didn’t hear Osamu leave early in the morning but he’s always been a heavy sleeper. He grabbed the fish that Osamu had made and went to eat. Once he finished eating and washing the plates he used, he went and got ready for exploring Tokyo again.

Osamu’s suggestion of Akihabara popped into Atsumu’s thoughts and he figured he might as well go. He looked up on his phone on what train he had to get on to reach Akihabara and once the map loaded he saved it and headed out, making sure to lock the apartment and that he had the key that Osamu had handed him the day before.

Seeing Akihabara online paled in comparison to seeing the real thing. It was more colourful and filled with a lot more people than he expected. He went around looking for nothing in particular when he remembered to drop by a bookstore and grab a few manga volumes and a Jump when he saw it on one of the shelves. Purchases secured, he started to walk around and found a store selling some taiyaki and he grabbed one. 

He bit the taiyaki and the warm red bean filling filled his mouth and he felt the nostalgia of eating one of the cakes during festivals. It’s been a couple of hours since he started going around Akihabara when he remembered that Harajuku was just a few minutes away and that he had been meaning to find a gag gift for Hinata’s birthday.

The train ride only took him a few minutes and the next thing he knew he was surrounded by the quirkiness of Harajuku. Atsumu knew it would be colourful but this took the cake. It was even brighter and bolder than Akihabara. While Akihabara was loud due to the buildings, Harajuku was loud because of the people. Atsumu went ahead and merged with the crowd, looking around for a sufficiently stupid gift that he could send to Brazil. He stumbled upon the perfect gift in one of the stores that he passed by and he didn’t even hesitate in getting it. He was still grinning when he got out of the shop.

He was already starting to get overwhelmed by the crowd of people when he saw the sign that pointed to where the Meiji Shrine as well as Yoyogi park. He followed the sign and what greeted him was a wide expanse of greenery that was a breath of fresh air from all the colour of Harajuku and Akihabara.

Atsumu headed to the crossing to get to the park and waited for the sign to turn white so that he could cross the street. There were a few people that he crossed the street with but only one other person headed to Yoyogi park as well. He just roamed around the park, shopping bags held loosely in one hand and his phone in the other. He was scrolling through social media when he saw a familiar head of hair at the corner of his eye. Atsumu stopped in his tracks and turned to where the man was and called out. 

“Omi!”

The familiar man stopped walking and turned to where Atsumu was standing. It really was him. Atsumu almost couldn’t believe what was happening but he saw the other man’s eyes widened as it registered just who it was that called out to him. Kiyoomi met Atsumu’s gaze and called back.

“Atsu.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, not sorry for the cliffhanger :D
> 
> I learned from the best.


	4. ACT III: It's The Same Old Feeling Back Again, Part 2

Seeing Kiyoomi again after two years felt like no time had passed by. He was still as striking as the last time Atsumu had seen him.

“Atsu.” Kiyoomi walked over to him. “I didn’t know you were back already, what are you doing in Tokyo?”

“Omi,” Atsumu looked at the other man with a small smile on his face. “Yeah, I just got here two days ago. I’m visiting my brother, he opened up a new branch here. What are the chances though that I’d see you here? Didn’t practice start already?”

“Right, right. I had heard from Bokuto that Osamu opened one up here. He’s been saying that Akaashi’s always there for lunch,” Kiyoomi said, his usual mask covered his face but Atsumu could tell that he was smiling. “I wonder how long it would take for Osamu to notice that Akaashi’s spending more time there for him and less for the food.”

Atsumu let out a little laugh. “I had thought that they’d be done dancing around each other after three years but it looks like I underestimated my brother’s ability to be denser than a rock.”

Kiyoomi didn’t say anything after that. It looked like Kiyoomi was thinking hard about what to say next and then finally settled on, “So, how have you been these two years?”

Atsumu had to stifle a laugh at the other man’s awkwardness. He was still the same Kiyoomi that didn’t know how to talk to other people. He put the other out of his misery by answering. 

“I’ve been good. Doing well with Cheegle and Coach Karpol’s been a big help in my training so I’ve made some great progress on a new serve I have up my arsenal.”

“Another one?” Kiyoomi’s left eyebrow rose in disbelief. “You already were playing with three serves and you’re adding a new one?”

“I saw this guy from an Argentinian club use it and I just couldn’t help myself,” Atsumu confessed.

Kiyoomi only laughed in response. 

“What about you? What are you doing in Tokyo? I figured practice must have started back up already.”

“My brother’s wife had their second baby last week and the entire family’s here to congratulate them,” Kiyoomi told Atsumu matter-of-factly. 

“Oh.” Atsumu didn’t know what to say in response to that. Atsumu knew that Kiyoomi’s siblings were both already married but he hadn’t expected that his older brother would be on his second kid already. “Uh, tell them congrats, I guess?”

“I’ll pass it on to them.”

The conversation drew into silence and Atsumu didn’t know what else to say. He had no idea what you were supposed to say to an ex-boyfriend, ex-teammate, who you were still in love with. Thankfully, Kiyoomi, despite being the more socially incompetent of the two, broke the silence by asking, “How long would you be in Tokyo? I have to go back home right now, but maybe we could grab lunch tomorrow?”

Atsumu breathed an internal sigh of relief, “I’ll be here for the rest of June and yeah, sure, we could have lunch tomorrow. I-uh-I have a new number so…”

“Yeah, of course,” Kiyoomi nodded slightly and reached for his phone for Atsumu to take. “Here, just put your number in and we could set up the details later.”

Atsumu took the phone offered and added in his number. He returned the phone to Kiyoomi along with the words, “Text me later, okay?”

“Yes, later.” Kiyoomi cleared his throat and said, “my number’s still the same if you still have it.”

Atsumu nodded his head and watched as Kiyoomi put his phone away.

“I’ll be going then.” Atsumu nodded again. Kiyoomi had turned his body but he still faced Atsumu. “See you tomorrow, Atsu.”

And with those parting words, Sakusa Kiyoomi walked away.

Atsumu walked away in the opposite direction. His phone vibrated against his thigh and when he took it out he saw that Kiyoomi had texted him. It looked like he still had the same number from two years ago. It brought a small smile to Atsumu’s face. He put his phone back in his pocket of replying with a smiley and continued to the station. He wanted to get back to Onigiri Miya before he got caught up by the rush hour, a smile still on his face

It was during a lull in the dinner rush in the restaurant that Osamu said something to Atsumu.

“What’s got you all happy over there?”

“Huh?” Atsumu looked at his brother, head tilting to the right.

“Stop that you look like a weird dog,” Osamu smacked the side of Atsumu’s head. 

“Ow!” Atsumu rubbed the side of his head while glaring petulantly at Osamu. “What was that for you idiot?”

“Your smile is creeping me out. You’ve been smiling and staring at nothing for the past thirty minutes.” Osamu looked at Atsumu, expression judging. “You’ll scare my customers away.”

“I am decidedly NOT scaring your customers away, you jerk. You should be thankful I’m here. My face is probably the only thing convincing people to stay if this is what your customer service is like.”

“We have the same fucking face idiot,” Osamu replied, deadpan. “So why are you smiling?”

“Well…I saw Omi a while ago,” Atsumu told his brother, tone nonchalant. “And we’re having lunch tomorrow.”

“How in the world did you even chance that?” Osamu could not believe his brother. What were the chances that he would see his ex-boyfriend in Tokyo? 

“I was walking around in that park near Harajuku station –Yoyogi Park, the one near the gymnasium?– and I saw him there. Which was weird at first because I thought he would be in Osaka by now for training and practice but,” Atsumu shrugged and didn’t continue his sentence. He saw his brother bring a hand up to his face and rubbed it on his cheek. A deep sigh and the words _how the fucking hell_ was heard, but Atsumu chose to ignore it. 

“Practice doesn’t start until July you idiot, it’s only June.”

One of Atsumu’s eyebrows rose at that piece of information. “Yeah he told me that but how do you know this? Last time I checked you weren’t a professional volleyball player for MSBY.”

Osamu suddenly couldn’t meet his brother’s eyes. “I just know okay. So why were you even in that park? There’s like so many other places you could’ve gone to.”

Atsumu chose to let go of that not so subtle subject change. He was going to rib his brother about that later seeing as the only way he would know that is if one of the players or someone close to a player told him and he’d bet money that it was Akaashi that told him.

“Tokyo can be a lot and I just wanted a break and see some trees. Maybe chance upon some cute dogs running around.”

“And instead you saw your ex-boyfriend just casually walking around?”

“Yeah,” Atsumu turned to look at his brother. “He’s visiting his family. His older brother’s had a baby and the whole family’s around.”

“And he just told you this immediately?” 

“Well...yeah? I asked him? How else would I know?” 

Osamu took a deep breath and looked up to the ceiling. Atsumu didn’t understand why his twin reacted the way he did but he just didn’t care enough to bother asking.

“So let me get this straight.” Osamu looked down and eyed his twin. “You managed to meet your ex-boyfriend in the middle of Tokyo.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re going to meet him for lunch tomorrow.”

“Yep,” Atsumu replied, prolonging the word.

Osamu bowed his head and closed his eyes, deliberately making his breath even.

“I give up,” Osamu muttered to himself. “Sure why not.” 

“What’s with all these questions Samu?”

Osamu waved away Atsumu’s question and went to the pantry of the restaurant. Atsumu shrugged when he heard a muffled scream coming from there and just played with his phone. Once Osamu came back, a mulish expression on his face, Atsumu put aside his phone and focused on his brother.

“I’m sure you have no idea what you’re doing but I’ll ask you one question,” Osamu said frankly.

“Hey!”

“Hush.” Osamu looked at Atsumu intently. “Do you still have feelings for Sakusa, yes or no?”

Atsumu averted his eyes from Osamu and said, “What does that have to do with anything.”

“It has to do with everything since it seems as if he just asked you out on a fucking date you nimrod.”

“Okay first, I’m ignoring that nimrod comment,” Atsumu continued, “Second of all, it’s just two old teammates catching up, don't look too hard into it.”

“Sure, you guys are just old teammates,” Osamu drawled. “That just so happened to date before.”

“I don’t need the sarcasm, thanks,” Atsumu snipped back. “It’s been two years.”

“I hear a but,” Osamu looked at Atsumu pointedly. “And don’t think I didn’t notice that you’re not answering the question I asked you.”

“Was kind of hoping you didn’t,” Atsumu sighed. “Can we just shelve this? I don’t want to think about it. It’s just lunch, Samu. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

Osamu simply hummed in response. He let his brother stew for a bit before he asked,

“Do you want to eat something?”

Atsumu’s answering laugh rang through the shop.

* * *

The sky was a nice shade of blue and the sun was shining particularly bright on the day that Atsumu met up with Kiyoomi again. They’ve been seeing each other almost every day since they bumped into each other at Yoyogi park a week and a half ago. Kiyoomi had mentioned that he would be staying in Tokyo until practices started back up as it’s been a while since he had been with his family for longer than a stray weekend and his brother’s new baby was just another reason. The lunch the day after they met opened up the floodgates of catching up and story exchanges of what’s happened the past two years. 

They’ve been going around Tokyo, Kiyoomi showing Atsumu the places he went to growing up. This time, they were meeting in the East Imperial Garden after lunch and visiting the Museum of Imperial Collections because of an exhibit that Kiyoomi had wanted to see but had no one to see it with. 

It was surprisingly fun considering Atsumu wasn’t really one to visit museums. Seeing Kiyoomi with a sparkle in his eye as he flitted about in the museum exhibit brought a smile to his face that couldn’t be wiped off. When Kiyoomi caught him smiling at him, the other man returned it with a small smile of his own, red dusting his cheeks.

On their way out, Atsumu spied an ice cream vending machine and dragged Kiyoomi to get them something to combat the heat outside. He rummaged around in his pockets to grab a few 100-yen coins for the machine. He looked at Kiyoomi and asked, “You still like the matcha one right?”

Kiyoomi simply nodded in response. Atsumu got himself a strawberry shortcake pop and handed Kiyoomi the matcha. Together, they exited the museum and just walked around the park.

“Where else are you taking me this time Omi?” Atsumu asked once they finished eating.

“There’s a place I haven’t taken you to yet. You’ll see, just trust me,” Kiyoomi said as he held out his hand.

Atsumu smiled at that but he grabbed Kiyoomi’s hand and let him drag him out of the Garden.

Kiyoomi waved down a taxi and told Atsumu, “It’ll be faster than taking the subway.”

Once they got in, Kiyoomi leaned in and told the driver, “Tochō, please.”

Atsumu saw the driver nod and sent a questioning look to Kiyoomi. 

“Where are you taking me Omi?”

Kiyoomi squeezed Atsumu’s hand and said, “It’s a surprise.”

Atsumu smiled at Kiyoomi and spent the next 20-minute ride trying to pry out of Kiyoomi where it was that they were going. It proved to be a futile endeavour but it resulted in Kiyoomi laughing at Atsumu’s attempts so Atsumu wasn’t that bothered.

The driver dropped them off and Atsumu was amazed at what he was seeing. It was a huge building, with the bottom portion separating into two sections. It was taller than all of the buildings that surrounded it and let off an intimidating atmosphere.

Atsumu tugged at Kiyoomi’s hand and asked, “Are you going to tell me what it is that we’re doing here? This looks like a government building Omi, what’s so special about this place?”

“That’s because it is a government building, Atsu. This is the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building,” Kiyoomi gestured to the building. “It was once the tallest building in Tokyo back in the early 2000s and there’s an observation deck that showcases Tokyo better than the Skytree. In my opinion anyway.”

Atsumu looked up at the building and said, “Well, let’s get going then.”

Entering the building was relatively easy for them since the two of them weren’t carrying any bags. There wasn’t an admission fee to enter the observation decks but only one of the decks was open at any given day. Once they got to the top of the tower, the observation deck wasn’t as full as the Skytree was when Atsumu had gone before. He registered the yellow piano at the corner of his eye but he didn’t pay it too much attention. The view was the only thing that he really paid attention to.

Atsumu was amazed at the skyline he was seeing, that he didn’t notice that Kiyoomi wasn’t next to him anymore. He was about to say something about the view when he finally noticed that Kiyoomi was standing by the piano. Atsumu walked towards him and noted the yellow colour of the piano reminded Atsumu of Itachiyama. Not so much in the shade of yellow but in how eye-catching it was. 

Just as soon as Atsumu reached Kiyoomi, the other man had sat on the bench of the piano and started to play. He hadn’t known that Kiyoomi was able to play the piano, let alone that well. He stood near the piano, entranced. The music was soft and yet bright that all Atsumu could see was the days of spring. Where the light hit against the new cherry blossoms and showcased the delicateness of the petals. He was reminded of walking to school during spring and the cherry blossoms that flew with the wind.

Once Kiyoomi finished playing, he clapped his hands. He saw Kiyoomi stand up and bow in thanks to the other people that clapped as well. Kiyoomi moved away from the piano and moved closer to where Atsumu was standing.

“I thought you were bringing me here to look at the Tokyo skyline not at you playing the piano,” Atsumu teased. Kiyoomi turned his head and walked away, but Atsumu could see the slight flush at the back of Kiyoomi’s neck. He laughed lightly as he followed the other man to the windows. 

Atsumu’s laughter died in his throat as he saw Kiyoomi being bathed in the afternoon light. Kiyoomi’s features were highlighted and when the other man turned to look at Atsumu, it was as if Atsumu was being graced by a creature of light. It brought back a lot of memories that he tried to forget, of days where he and Kiyoomi were walking on the streets of Higashiosaka, without a care in the world. 

Kiyoomi gestured for Atsumu to come closer and so he did. He stood next to the other man and looked out the window. He felt Kiyoomi place a hand at the small of his back and he repressed a shiver at the touch. There were no words exchanged, just the two of them standing there, overlooking the streets of Tokyo.

The two of them settled into the silence that fell before them. 

“We should go,” Kiyoomi said as he dropped the hand that was on Atsumu’s back. 

Atsumu simply nodded.

They headed to the elevators and once they reached the lobby, they headed outside. They spent a couple of minutes just standing near the exit with no words being exchanged.

“Thank you for today, Omi.” Atsumu turned to face Kiyoomi. “I had a good time.”

“It was a pleasure.”

Atsumu didn’t know what else to say and the silence was starting to become awkward.

“I should head back to Osamu’s shop,” Atsumu took out his phone to check the time. “It’s later than I expected and I really don’t want to go through the Tokyo rush. Samu’s told me enough horror stories that I would rather not experience it myself.”

“It is a nightmare that’s for sure,” Kiyoomi said. “I’ll text you later?”

“Of course,” Atsumu agreed readily.

“Get home safe, Atsu.” 

“You too, Omi.”

And with those words, the two of them parted ways. Atsumu looked back down at his phone when he felt it vibrate. He saw that Kiyoomi had texted him and when he opened the message it said:

_I really had a good time, Atsu. Thank you._

Atsumu could feel the blood rush to his cheeks and he quickly replied with a smiley face. He hurriedly closed the app and opened the map so that he could get back to Onigiri Miya already. The map showed him that the trip would be almost an hour long and it was enough time for Atsumu to get himself put together so that his brother wouldn’t say anything.

At least, that was what he thought. But when he got the store, Osamu took one look at him and gestured for him to sit at one of the stools next to the bar. 

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” Atsumu cursed internally as his voice went high pitched as he replied to Osamu. He cleared his throat and repeated, “Nothing’s going on.”

“Mina-san, can you cover for me for a while?” Osamu called out to one of his employees.

“Of course Miya-san,” was the quick reply.

Osamu then took off his apron and crossed the bar. He sat down on the stool next to Atsumu and stared long and hard at his twin. Atsumu started fidgeting when Osamu continued to stare at him without saying anything. Osamu noticed and decided to put him out of his misery.

“I didn’t say anything when you kept going out with Sakusa, even when Ma and Pa were here you were still going out with him in the mornings. You’ve been looking all happy and shit so I didn’t care. Now,” Osamu raised an eyebrow and pointedly asked, “what the fuck is going on between the two of you that’s got you redder than a ripe tomato right now?”

It was only then that Atsumu realised how warm his face had gotten and dropped his head on the counter in front of him. He rolled his head to the side to look at Osamu, his cheek smushed against the counter.

“I’m telling you the truth. There’s absolutely nothing going on between the two of us.”

Osamu hummed in response. “Why does that denial just tell me that you want something to happen between the two of you?”

“I don’t know with you but I don’t have any ulterior motive behind going out with Omi,” Atsumu denied. “He’s an old teammate that was a good friend before anything else.”

“Sure,” Osamu drawled, “keep telling yourself that.”

Atsumu took a napkin, balled it up and threw it at Osamu in retaliation.

“I’m serious Tsumu,” Osamu said in an even tone. “You still haven’t decided on whether you’re going back to Yekaterinburg and yet you’re out here going out with Sakusa. It’s been almost two weeks that you’ve been here. When you got here you told me that you felt like something was holding you back. I asked if it was Sakusa. You didn’t say anything. So answer me now, why are you pushing off on deciding?”

Atsumu raised his head to rest his chin on the counter. He stared at his reflection against the napkin holder and said, “I just want to spend some time with him. I missed spending time with a friend that wasn’t Yaku-san or one of my teammates in Cheegle.”

“I know you do, Tsumu.” Osamu placed his hand on the back of Atsumu’s neck and squeezed. “But maybe decide on the Cheegle front first? We could make a list of pros and cons if you want.”

“That’s just it, Samu,” Atsumu muttered. “I _have_ thought about it and really, the only con against me going back is that it’s so fucking far away and that it’s another three years away from home.”

“That really isn’t a con considering you’ve already lasted two years, ‘Tsum. So why haven’t you decided yet?”

“I don’t know. I think I just needed someone to tell me that taking it would be the right choice.”

Osamu sighed heavily. “You’re the only one who could say if it’s the right one or not, ‘Tsum.”

Atsumu squeezed his eyes shut. “I know.”

“All I know is that ever since high school, I’ve seen you put your heart and soul into volleyball.” Osamu raised his hand to place it on top of Atsumu’s head. “One of your defining character traits that isn’t absolute trash is that you love volleyball.”

“Hey!”

“Oh, shut up. You can’t deny it so don’t bother,” Osamu snapped. “I know you. You’re my twin. I know you already said yes in your brain but you just doubted yourself because you also wanted Sakusa. Tell him about you leaving again before either of you get hurt ‘Tsum.”

“I know I do,” Atsumu raised his head to look at Osamu. “I know I have to tell him but at the same time, I want this uncomplicated time with him. Why can’t I have both Samu?”

“You never know until you tell him, ‘Tsum,” Osamu said with an understanding look on his face. “There are two people in a relationship, you can’t be the only one who knows about things.”

* * *

Osamu’s words stayed loud at the back of Atsumu’s mind but he didn’t know how to even start. He wanted to tell Kiyoomi about how he wasn’t going to stay in Japan, but the words wouldn’t come out. He wasn’t sure where they stood with each other but Atsumu had treasured the days where they were together. He kept trying to speak, but every day once they parted ways, he still hasn’t said anything. And now, he didn’t have any more time that he could waste. 

The day before Atsumu was set to go back to Russia, he asked Kiyoomi to meet him at Yoyogi park. He saw Kiyoomi standing by the rose garden and called out to him. Kiyoomi waved back in acknowledgement of the call and once Atsumu reached him, said: “Good morning, Atsu.”

“Omi,” Atsumu gave a small smile to Kiyoomi in response. “Let’s walk?”

Kiyoomi nodded and they went off to the rose garden at a leisurely walk. They talked about insignificant things, like how the weather was like, what they had for dinner last night, small talk. Atsumu couldn’t help himself and asked the question that he had been wanting to ask.

“What are we doing Omi?”

Kiyoomi stopped walking and turned to look at Atsumu. “What do you mean? We’re on a walk?”

Atsumu sighed. “Don’t play dumb with me Omi, you know what I mean.”

“Let’s talk over there,” Kiyoomi gestured to the benches near the fountain.

Atsumu agreed and they started walking towards the fountain. They sat down on one of the free benches, neither of them saying a word. The air was heavy between the two of them. It was Kiyoomi who finally spoke and broke the silence.

“What do you want us to be doing, Atsu?”

“I don’t know Omi.”

Kiyoomi faced him and quietly said, “We’re whatever you want us to be Atsu.”

Atsumu laughed sardonically.

“You say that now but I’ve been wanting to tell you something for the past week,” Atsumu said while staring at the fountain in front of them. “That time we had lunch the day after we met again, I told you that I was in Tokyo temporarily. I didn’t elaborate on that but I meant that in the way that I was in _Japan_ temporarily. Before I came back, Cheegle offered me a contract extension. Another three years with the team. Honestly, when you asked I wasn’t sure about it yet, but I think you should know.” 

Atsumu took a deep breath and continued. “I’m going back to Russia and I’m going to tell them yes.”

After Atsumu said that he saw Kiyoomi looking at him, a confused look in his eyes. He could tell that Kiyoomi was trying to figure out what it was that Atsumu was trying to tell him. 

“What does that mean, Atsu?”

“It means that I’m leaving for Yekaterinburg tomorrow,” Atsumu said straightforwardly. “I was talking about it with Samu and I accepted the three-year contract extension that Cheegle offered me before I came back.”

“Oh.”

“‘Oh.’?” Atsumu asked. “That’s all you have to say? ‘Oh.’?”

“What do you want me to say, Atsu?” Kiyoomi asked plaintively. “I wasn’t expecting that when you asked me to meet you here.”

“Then what were you expecting?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting anything, Atsu. I just wanted to spend time with you.”

Atsumu brought his palms up to his eyes and rubbed them. “I just felt like you had to know about it. We’ve been spending so much time together these past few weeks that I felt like I had to let you know about this.”

“Is that really why you’re telling me this, Atsu?”

Atsumu let out a big breath and answered. “No. It’s not.”

“Then why?”

“Because I think I fell in love with you.”

Atsumu looked at Kiyoomi at the corner of his eye and saw that Kiyoomi was staring straight ahead, motionless. He focused on the water instead and continued. 

“Wait, no that’s not it-” Atsumu shook his head, it felt wrong to him, phrasing it like that. “I fell in love with you and until now I still love you. I didn’t know what it was then but after I left I would sometimes miss home, but I didn’t know what it was that I was missing. But one day it hit me. I wasn’t missing home. I was missing you. You, who was back in Japan and was so far away. I missed spending time with you and having you near me and I knew then that I felt something deeper for you than just liking you. I honestly and truly had fallen for you and it only took me moving nearly six thousand kilometres to realise it.”

Kiyoomi said nothing in response to what Atsumu had said. The other man simply leaned back on against the bench and looked up to the sky, his gaze far off. Atsumu began to think back on what he had said and wondered if he scared away Kiyoomi with it. He had lost himself inside his head so much that he flinched when Kiyoomi started speaking.

“You weren’t here for the past two years Atsu, and my life still went on.” Kiyoomi tilted his head to look at Atsumu. “At first, I expected to feel like losing you would feel like losing a limb. But it didn’t and I felt relieved. It hurt a lot sure, but it was one of those pains that I knew I would be able to survive. My life moved on. I played volleyball, I went to the same places, and I ate the same food. Eventually, I moved to a new apartment, went to different places, and ate new food. I knew that you would have done the same and that you would be okay.”

“Everything changes Atsu,” Kiyoomi raised his hand and made a small gesture to the park as if to emphasise what he meant, “but at the same time, everything is still the same. The flowers bloom, the sun shines, and the rain came. The seasons may have changed but I still loved you all the same.” 

There was a soft look in Kiyoomi’s eyes as he finished speaking and Atsumu felt like he suddenly couldn’t breathe. Kiyoomi had told Atsumu that he loved him. Atsumu didn’t know how to respond to what the other had said and before he could even make an attempt, Kiyoomi had continued.

“I wanted to thank you for those six months Atsu.”

And so silence reigned between the two of them again.

“You know,” Atsumu began, hands wrapping themselves around each other. “I never did tell you why I wanted to break up. Other than the obvious long-distance thing.”

Kiyoomi turned his head to Atsumu and said, “So why _did_ you ask?”

“I was scared then, Omi,” Atsumu admitted quietly. “That was why I asked you then if we could let go of each other. I was scared that we wouldn’t be able to do it. I wanted to keep you so close but I was scared that you would resent me for putting you through a long-distance relationship. I was scared because I’ve never been with someone that I actually, truly cared about. Was it the right thing to do then? Maybe? Probably? Who knows really but there’s no point in what-ifs. It’s already all in the past.”

“So what happens now?” Kiyoomi questioned. 

Atsumu swivelled sideways to look at Kiyoomi. “I wanted to ask you if you wanted to be part of my life again even though I’m in Russia. Two years passed by and I still want you to be mine. Do you think we could make it work? Could you give me a chance to make it work instead of not trying like I did last time?”

Kiyoomi moved as well and stared at Atsumu. He didn’t let his gaze from Kiyoomi waver but as the seconds passed by with no answer from Kiyoomi, Atsumu could feel the hope in his heart dwindle. He saw Kiyoomi making a motion to answer but still no words came from him. A couple of minutes went by as Atsumu watched Kiyoomi look away and looked back as if trying to answer. Atsumu closed his eyes and sighed. He opened them and accepted that Kiyoomi would not be saying anything to him. 

“I’ll take your silence as your answer then.” Atsumu stood up and looked on ahead. “I’ll go ahead. I’ll see you when I see you, Omi.”

He started to walk away but he looked back at Kiyoomi, still sitting on the bench. He shook his head and walked away for the second time.

* * *

It was September and the first game of the season’s preliminaries and Atsumu was eager to go and play. There weren’t a lot of people in the stands compared to when it was the play-offs but there was still a good-sized crowd watching them. Probably to see if last season’s champions had what it takes to grab the title again this year.

He could feel the excitement running through everyone on the team and none more so than in their libero. The energy that Yaku had that day would have raised some flags in Atsumu’s mind had it not been their first game. So he had just chalked it up to eagerness to get the season going on a good note.

Their first game went off without a hitch, everyone working like a well-oiled machine with Atsumu making sure that they stayed that way. He established early on in the game how effective their middle blockers were and the other team now had to take into consideration how he’d use his middles. There’s no more effective time to use his sides when the other team honed in on the centre. He could feel the excitement coursing through his veins. These players weren’t the monsters he had to deal with in MSBY but they were very well monsters in their own right. Plus, having Yaku right at his back made for a very effective defence. There would be no back-breaking bends just so he could set overhand when Yaku was there to consistently deliver to him a beautiful rainbow of a pass.

They won that first game in straight sets with the last set staying at deuce well until Yaku had managed to do a back row set for their opposite that took the opposing team off guard enough that they managed to snag that last point. 30-32. Hearing that whistle blow from the referee was like sweet relief. Atsumu could feel his heart beating fast and his breath coming out in huffs. His muscles burned from exertion but he revelled in it. His team synced up so well that he could see them winning this season again.

His teammates all congregated around Yaku shouting their pride, congratulating the libero on that last play. He could hear Coach talking to their assistant coach about tomorrow’s practice but Atsumu didn’t pay attention. They just won their first game, he was allowed to bask in it for a while.

Afterwards, the team headed straight to the locker rooms and to the showers. After grabbing a towel from his bag, Atsumu was one of the first ones in the showers. Having hot water hitting his back was a relief and helped loosen his exerted muscles. Once he felt his shoulders relax, he let out a sigh of relief. He proceeded with the rest of his shower routine at a brisk pace because he didn’t want to hit that point where he might fall asleep standing up. 

Once he got out, his towel wrapped around his waist, he spied Yaku’s bag on the bench but the libero was nowhere in sight. The libero was notorious for his shower sing-alongs but it was quiet in the showers so he had figured that Yaku was in the locker room. He looked at the bag for a while but shrugged and went about his business, grabbing his bag from the locker and placing it on the bench behind him. He dressed and attempted to dry his hair with the towel while battling with the cord of his hairdryer that got stuck underneath his clothes in his bag.

He was almost finished drying his hair and half the team was milling about in the locker area when Yaku finally came back. He headed straight for Atsumu, a serious look on his face and told him that their athletic trainer wanted to talk to him outside. Atsumu was confused, and kind of hesitant, but it was Yaku, the libero didn’t do sly when he had something devious planned that would result in Atsumu making a fool of himself.

Once he was outside, he wished that it was a prank instead of what he was seeing. Kiyoomi was standing outside, leaning against the wall at the end of the hallway. Atsumu was caught off guard. He had no idea what Kiyoomi was doing here in Russia when he was supposed to be in Japan getting ready for the new season. Atsumu made a soft squeaking sound that he would deny ever coming from him, but it was loud enough that it caught Kiyoomi’s attention. Atsumu knew then and there that there was no escaping this encounter.

Kiyoomi waved him over and Atsumu went closer, he felt as if he was off to the gallows. It was a short walk to get closer and even though it had only been a couple of months since they last saw each other, Atsumu felt like there was something different about Kiyoomi. Maybe it was a new haircut, or maybe it was the clothes he was wearing, he didn’t know. But the thought itched at the back of his mind.

“Atsu, could we talk?”

Atsumu hadn’t known that Kiyoomi calling out to him with that nickname would make his knees weak. Yet, the question of what Kiyoomi was doing in Russia, specifically in this gym that Atsumu’s team just finished playing in, was still at the forefront of his mind. And when he opened his mouth to answer Kiyoomi’s question, all that came out was:

“What are you doing here?”

Kiyoomi took off the mask he was wearing before he gestured and said, “Could we maybe do this somewhere more private? I don’t want to be interrupted.”

Atsumu blinked at the request but agreed readily enough. The two of them walked away from the locker room and to an empty hallway a couple of metres away. Once they were there, Atsumu leaned on the wall and looked at Kiyoomi. 

“So, why are you here Omi? Why in the world are you in Russia when I know for a fact that the season starts in a week and you should be back in Osaka going through team meetings.”

Kiyoomi flinched a little at the somewhat harsh tone that Atsumu used but he took a breath, straightened his spine and looked Atsumu in the eye.

“I know it took me some time but I came here because I wanted to give you an actual answer. When you asked me before, I didn’t know what to say then but, I know now.” Kiyoomi paused as if struggling to find the words before he continued. “Those two years that you weren’t by my side were some of the most ordinary years of my life and I hated it. I fucking hated that it was boring, and ordinary, and safe. It made me realise that I missed you and your stupid antics. In the short time that you were mine, you became such a significant part of my life that when you left there was something missing in me.”

“The first time you left, I agreed to us breaking up because I couldn’t bear to ruin what we had. We were together for only six months at that point Atsu, but I was already falling in love with you. I saw your excitement and I knew that Japan had already given you all it could, so I let you go. I knew that I didn’t have it in me to have asked you to turn your back on your dreams and stay for us. Your passion and drive were some of the things that made me fall for you and I wasn’t going to take that from you.”

Atsumu was taken aback by what Kiyoomi said. This was probably the longest that Kiyoomi had ever spoken and Atsumu didn’t know how to take it in. He still hasn’t even wrapped his head around the fact that Kiyoomi was standing in front of him. It was already a shock to hear Kiyoomi telling him all these things but Kiyoomi wasn’t finished talking.

“And then suddenly you were there standing in front of me. I think being away from you made me realise that you were something truly special to me. I figured out that when you left the first time around, you took pieces of my heart with you. When I saw you again after two years, you were just as captivating as you were the last time we were together. I was so happy that I got to spend time with you again.”

Kiyoomi smiled at Atsumu, a tinge of sadness evident in his eyes.

“But then you told me that you weren’t staying for good because Cheegle offered you another three years and that you had accepted, I didn’t know how to answer you when you asked if we could try again. So I didn’t say anything instead.”

“Then you left for the second time, I realised that life would go back to how it was when you were gone and I didn’t want that anymore. I spent two years living in a bubble without you. You were willing to make it work, so why should I be scared?”

“So I came here. I wanted to tell you that I want to be with you and that I’m in this for the long haul. Two years apart and my feelings are still the same. What’s a three year, long-distance relationship in the grand scheme of things? No matter how far away you go, no matter what team you play for, I’ll still be yours. So Atsu, can we try? Can you give me another chance?”

Atsumu stared at Kiyoomi, his eyes wide. When Kiyoomi didn’t reply that day when he asked, Atsumu had already resigned himself to leaving Japan without Kiyoomi being his boyfriend again. He left the next day, heart heavy.

But now, Kiyoomi was standing in front of him. Telling him that he loved Atsumu and that he wanted to try again even though he knew that Atsumu would be in Russia for the next three years.

Atsumu could feel tears forming at the corner of his eyes. He went closer and grabbed Kiyoomi’s by his jacket, pushing him against the wall. “You fucking asshole. I just wanted you. Just you.”

Kiyoomi placed his hands on top of Atsumu’s. “That’s just it Atsu. I wanted you to reach your dream and going to Russia would’ve been a step in the right direction. Being offered the chance to be coached by Karpol is a once in a lifetime opportunity that formed you into the player you are now. I wanted to give you that chance.”

Atsumu dropped his head against Kiyoomi’s chest. He then proceeded to hit his fists against Kiyoomi’s chest. “You’re still an asshole though.”

Kiyoomi let out a soft chuckle, “I’ll take it if you answer my question.”

“Why should I?” Atsumu muttered into Kiyoomi’s chest. “You didn’t answer mine.”

Kiyoomi made to push off Atsumu and the other man went willingly. “Isn’t my coming here enough of an answer for you? If you want to hear it then, yes Atsu. I want to try again.”

With those words, Atsumu surged up and pressed his lips against Kiyoomi’s. All the pent up longing from two years of being separated poured into that one kiss. He kissed him like a man starving, like Kiyoomi would disappear if he let go. He felt Kiyoomi cup his face and lean down, and all he could do was place his arms on Kiyoomi’s shoulders and drag him deeper into the kiss. It felt good to finally have him in his arms again. He kept kissing Kiyoomi until the need to breathe made him let go. He gasped for air and placed his forehead against Kiyoomi’s.

“I love you and I want to try this with you again.”

A smile broke out on Kiyoomi’s face and that was probably the first time that Atsumu had seen him smile so wide. It was breathtaking. Atsumu kissed him again, slowly, savouring him. There was no urgency in this kiss, just a feeling of _finally_. He felt Kiyoomi’s hands let go of his face to settle on his hips and the warmth from his hands grounded Atsumu. 

He made to pull away, but Kiyoomi dragged him back into the kiss. Kiyoomi had cupped his face again and slanted his head, taking Atsumu deeper. Atsumu felt Kiyoomi drag the tip of his tongue against his lips as if asking for permission. Atsumu opened his mouth and felt his tongue meet Kiyoomi’s. Their tongues danced together and it was like they were getting to know each other all over again. Atsumu couldn’t stifle the strangled moan that came from his throat. The sound echoed and Atsumu jerked back, quickly realising that they were standing in a hallway in a public gym. He turned his head to look around and noticed that the hallway was still empty. 

At that moment though, Atsumu couldn’t care less about being seen and leaned in to kiss Kiyoomi once more. Atsumu laughed breathlessly into the kiss and once he pulled away, he looked at Kiyoomi, a flush high on his cheeks. He could already feel his lips tingling. Kiyoomi wasn’t any better off, cheeks red, lips bruised, and breathing heavily.

Atsumu placed a hand on Kiyoomi’s cheek and looked at him intently. “I am never letting you go, you hear me?”

Kiyoomi placed his hand over Atsumu’s and pressed his lips against the palm of Atsumu’s hand. “No letting go,” Kiyoomi repeated. “I’m staying with you until the very end. Now kiss me again.”

And Atsumu did just that. 

“Ahem.” 

The two of them jumped apart from each other when they heard someone clear their throat. They turned at the same time to where the interruption came from and met Yaku’s unimpressed, judging face. The other man looked to have finished changing into his casual clothes and had gone to look for Atsumu it seemed.

Atsumu could feel the blood running towards his cheeks in embarrassment and he couldn’t look Yaku in the eyes. So maybe he did care a little bit about being seen and this was Yaku and the man could make his life a lot worse during practice.

“Coach said that if you wanted to go back with us on the bus then we have to go now,” was what Yaku said after a couple of seconds. Atsumu made to say something but before he could, Yaku started to speak again. “But he also said that if you weren’t, just make sure that you’re at practice tomorrow. And that you better not be late.”

Atsumu breathed a small sigh of relief. “You can tell the coach that I won’t be joining you guys, Yaku-san. I have stuff to do but I’ll make sure to be at practice on time.”

“Stuff,” Yaku scoffed. “Hey Sakusa, I didn’t know you changed your name to stuff.”

Atsumu groaned and hid his face in Kiyoomi’s neck while Kiyoomi let out a chuckle. Kiyoomi had turned his head to look at Yaku and said, “Thank you, Yaku-san.”

Atsumu’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He lifted his head and looked at Yaku and Kiyoomi, a question forming in his mind. Before he could ask the question, Yaku was already replying.

“Well, I had to do what I had to do. Didn’t want another two years of pining, y’know.”

Atsumu was mortified, was he that obvious? He dropped his head against Kiyoomi’s shoulder again and groaned. The other man laughed and dragged his fingers through Atsumu’s hair. 

“You didn’t have to say that Yaku-san,” Atsumu said, his voice muffled by Kiyoomi’s shoulder.

Yaku only laughed in response.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at practice, okay Yaku-san?”

“Yes, yes, I’ll tell Coach you’re busy,” Yaku said while he waved Atsumu’s words away. “Don’t stay up too late, you kids.”

Atsumu brought his head up and moved away slightly from Kiyoomi to look at Yaku. “You’re just a year older, Yaku-san, you don’t have to call us kids.”

But Yaku already turned around and was walking away. He laughed at Atsumu’s response and loudly replied, “You guys are stupid enough to be called kids.”

When Yaku had disappeared, Atsumu moved to face Kiyoomi again and smiled. Kiyoomi grabbed his hand and held it and said with a smile, “C’mon, show me around. It’s the first time I’ve been here and I want you to show me the place you’ve lived in these past two years.”

“You’re lucky our first game was in the team’s home arena and that I know this place. Let me just grab my bag and then we’ll go. And also,” Atsumu looked at Kiyoomi with his eyebrow raised, “just how did you get in here and why does Yaku-san know about it?”

Atsumu watched as Kiyoomi’s cheeks become red as the other uttered his reply, “I’ll tell you about it later.”

Atsumu smiled at the lame excuse and moved to let go of Kiyoomi’s hand, but the other held it in a firm grip.

“I’m going with you.”

Atsumu could feel himself melting inside and said, “C’mon then.”

Kiyoomi let out a laugh as Atsumu dragged him back to the Cheegle’s assigned locker room.

* * *

**Epilogue**

5,952 kilometres.

5 years.

One stage.

Kiyoomi looked at Atsumu as he spoke, his voice unwavering. “It took us some time but here we are. No matter where you go, no matter how far you are, I will never stop loving you. Now until the end of time.”

Atsumu smiled and replied, “Whatever life may bring us, I’ll love you for as long as you let me. I’ll fight for you and never let go.”

“Hey,” Atsumu said as he walked towards where Kiyoomi was standing.

Kiyoomi turned his head, looked at Atsumu, and said, “First game back on the same team, Atsu. It’s good to have you next to me again.”

“It’s good to be back, Omi.”

The two of them went to face the net, the opposite team doing the same. Behind them, the fans cheered and shouted their names. They heard the referee blow his whistle and went to stand behind the line. The two of them were wearing the same jersey again. Their backs were turned to the audience, MIYA bold on the back of their jerseys. After more than a decade, there were two Miyas on the court again.

* * *

_There isn’t such a thing as happily ever after. No curtain falls when you get together with someone and life isn’t just a smooth-sailing ride. There are always things that would happen that makes you question whether or not something is worth it. But in the end, if it was love that brought you two together, then that love would remain as constant as the sunrise and the sunset. It may stretch and it may waver but it would never truly break. Happily ever after may not be realistic, but that doesn’t mean that happy endings aren’t real. We just have to constantly work for it._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those wondering, the song i was imagining Sakusa play was [Kimi Wa Haru No Naka Ni Iru](https://open.spotify.com/track/3oPdK9fP29ZhN6XW3Ji7Q7?si=q-5HYANQQ0Kr8FC3GAK5eg) from Your Lie in April. Give it a listen and it’ll make the scene shine brighter.
> 
> Thanks Mikee for the help in thinking up that one part, you know which one.
> 
> And there's that. I just wanted to write about two people finding each other again after letting go and it turned into this. When I finished writing, all I could do was cry and say that it was finally over.
> 
> This was the first story that I ever really wrote for a fandom and it'll always be special to me.
> 
> Thank you for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Sarah G for this brain rot that would not let me go for a month I seriously went bonkers. 
> 
> Special thanks to the people who held my hand through this (aka Summer, Ri, Mikee, and J). You guys are the best.
> 
> The rest of it is finished but I'm going to comb through it again so I'll update as soon as I finish. Thanks for reading! You can scream at me about this story or anything about Haikyuu and SakuAtsu on my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/royal_enchanter). 
> 
> If you guys liked it, the fic graphic is [here](https://twitter.com/royal_enchanter/status/1368115905696174085?s=20). 
> 
> I'll see you guys soon for the rest of this! Peace ✌️.


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